It simply was by chance that social work freshman Leia Edwards met her boyfriend Ciro Vasquez last June. Edwards said she first was introduced to Vasquez while accompanying her best friend, Fort Irwin, Calif., resident Ashley Crackell, on a visit to Crackell’s husband’s U.S. Army training base in Fort Knox, Ky.
“It sounds cheesy, but it was a typical love at first sight moment,” she said.
The pair, who officially began dating in September 2011, maintain a long-distance relationship because Vasquez currently is stationed in Fort Irwin, where he builds and tests tanks — his job for the next two and a half years.
Edwards is one of a number of MSU students currently in a long-distance relationship with someone in the U.S. military.
Despite spending a majority of her time away from Vasquez, Edwards has no regrets.
“He’s my best friend,” she said. “He may live 3,500 miles away, but I’m still in his heart, and he’s still in mine.”
Taking the time
Dietetics senior Emily Wachuta, who also is a part of the MSU ROTC program, maintains a long-distance relationship with her fiance Ryan Thompson as well. The two met when Wachuta was a freshman in high school, and remained good friends until they began dating during her senior year.
Thompson currently is a platoon leader for the U.S. Army in Fort Hood, Texas, and will be deployed in December.
Between their busy schedules, Wachuta said it gets difficult to find the time to speak to one another. The two try to talk at least twice a week and see each other once every two months.
“It takes a lot of time and coordinating schedules to actually talk on the phone or Skype,” she said. “If we don’t get a lot of time to talk, it all becomes surface conversation.”
Associate professor in the MSU Department of Human Development and Family Studies Adrian Blow, who has performed many research projects on military families, said a sense of routine often can calm such relationship strains.
“Technology makes it a lot easier through instant messaging and Skype, and having the routine is important,” he said.
“It’s a really stressful job, and not being able to have that person with you when you go home or on weekends is really hard,” he said.
What it takes
When a significant other is away in combat, Blow said the constant worrying can add to the worries of a typical student.
“They’re dealing with stress of being a student, but the fact that their loved one is deployed in a war zone adds concern on top of everything else,” he said. “Some are resilient and very capable of coping, while others seem to fall apart.”
In Thompson’s mind, strength and support from his leading lady are the most important factors in keeping their relationship alive.
“Both people have to be strong in the relationship,” he said. “They have to be willing to sacrifice something. I can’t deal with a partner who doesn’t support what I do.”
Although she admits it’s difficult to keep from worrying, Wachuta said reaching out to family and friends helped her get through.
“(This situation) forced me to have good relationships and have a support system,” she said.
All about love
In order to be closer to Vasquez, Edwards has considered transferring to a university closer to his training base so that they can spend time together.
But her father, Holly, Mich., resident Patrick Edwards said the bump in the road will only make the couple stronger.
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“It can have its challenges, but absence makes the heart grow fonder,” he said.
Although Wachuta, who will join the National Guard when she graduates in December, misses Thompson every day, to her, it is worth it in the end. The couple plans to get married and move in together when he is released from his deployment in December 2013.
“I miss laughing with him,” she said. “When he left, I don’t think I laughed once for two weeks straight. But I love how I feel when I’m with him. He makes me a better person.”
