“I just was in shock,” said Huffman, now a media arts and technology senior. “That was my first time dealing with death so close, firsthand.”

It was in the days and months to come that all the emotions of grief hit him: the pain, the anger, the irritability and the sorrow.

Huffman is one of the many college students dealing with death. About 39 percent of students nationwide reported having experienced the death of a friend or family member, according to a 2010 study by Brooklyn College of City University of New York and Oral Roberts University researchers.

In the last month alone, at least three MSU students have died: 19-year-old geological sciences sophomore Anna Flory, of currently unknown causes; 23-year-old nutritional sciences senior Andrew Singler, of a stab wound; and 19-year-old premedical sophomore Chas Schneider, of kidney failure brought on by colon cancer.

Huffman said since Glynn’s death from meningococcal disease, he can’t help but pick up a newspaper when he sees another student has died.

“I know what (friends are) going through,” he said. “I will always remember Carly. There’s nothing that could erase the time that I had spent with her.”

Huffman said through the support of friends and counseling, he has been able to cope with her death and reach a positive place when remembering Glynn — approaches local experts say are ideal when trying to understand a loss.

Gwen Kapcia, program director of Life Landscapes at Gorsline Runciman Funeral Homes, said college students might especially have a hard time with death because they are away from their normal support group, and friends on campus might not know how to support them.

“Maybe this is the first time in their whole life that they’ve experienced it,” Kapcia said. “The No. 1 thing that makes grief difficult … is we don’t know what to expect.”

Experiencing loss

Everyone expresses grief from the loss of a loved one differently, but everyone needs to express their grief when a loved one dies, said Kapcia, who leads support groups at the funeral home.

“Oftentimes, we try to grieve without mourning,” Kapcia said, explaining that mourning is the outward form of grief. “If you love someone, there is a necessity to mourn someone when they’re no longer there.”

Huffman said immediately following Glynn’s death, he would find himself irritable, sometimes snapping at those closest to him. Eventually, he saw a counselor with another friend of Glynn’s to cope with the pain of her loss.

MSU counselor Bonnie Wheeler said in an email that grief can manifest as sadness, joy, relief, anger and fear depending on the closeness to the person who died, the circumstances of their death and personal beliefs.

Grief also can become a physical burden, with crying, fatigue, aches and pains, she said.

The pain hit hard for political science and pre-law senior Kelsey Hines, whose cousin, 21-year-old communicative sciences and disorders junior Cassie Hines, died last year after a four-year battle with tubulocystic renal cell carcinoma cancer. Kelsey Hines said it sometimes was difficult to get out of bed in the morning to go to class, and she went home many weekends to spend time with family.

Kapcia said spending time and speaking openly with loved ones about grief is a positive reaction to a loss, but there are inappropriate ways to react. She said especially in young adults, there is the potential to lash out or party too hard because they feel life is so short.

Drinking became a way of coping for advertising sophomore Randy Thoms, after both the loss of his mother to ovarian cancer in high school and the loss of his friend, 18-year-old Lyman Briggs freshman Marissa Romsek, in college.

“I learned pretty quickly that doesn’t solve anything,” Thoms said, adding he hopes others dealing with recent loss don’t take the path he took. “Don’t take stuff to make you think that you’re going to be OK … You’re not always going to be drunk.”

More than a year later, Thoms said he still thinks about Romsek every day, but learned from his experiences with loss and grief to make the most out of everyday — an idea he shares in common with many others who experience loss.

“In the beginning, it’s just darkness,” Kelsey Hines said. “It’s just this cloud. It just consumes you and slowly, it starts to clear away little by little.”

A helping hand

Four months after beginning counseling, Kelsey Hines continues to speak with a counselor about the death of her cousin and close friend — something she still feels in denial about some days.

“I can say she’s still up at school,” said Hines, who currently is taking online classes from home to finish her degree. “I wish I had spoken with someone sooner … It’s not as scary as you think. It’s not as weird as you would think — they’re able to shed some light on things.”

Molly Day, director of marketing and community outreach at Ele’s Place, said the healing center for grieving children has a free grief support group available for college-age young adults — an age group experts said often is ignored in support groups. The Counseling Center also offers group and individual grief counseling.

Kapcia said those uncomfortable or uninterested in these forms of healing should make sure to express themselves in some way, such as painting or writing feelings down.

Physiology junior Caitlin McCarthy, who experienced the loss of three friends in a car accident and the loss of two grandparents her freshman year, said she found solace in spending time with family and friends who also were dealing with the same loss, as well as writing down the memories she had of her loved ones.

Students can seek counsel with National Students of AMF, a national group for college students who have suffered the loss of a friend or family member.

AMF Executive Director Lauren Kase said although MSU does not have a Students of AMF chapter, students can utilize their free online webinars and participate in their National College Student Grief Awareness Week activities from April 7-13.

“Grief happens to everyone — it’s part of being human,” Kase said. “(But) it can feel very out of place on a college campus.”

To schedule an appointment with the Counseling Center, call 517-355-8270. To schedule an appointment with Ele’s Place at 1145 W. Oakland Ave., in Lansing, call 517-482-1315.