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Speed dating adds awkward twist to holiday

February 16, 2014

The things I do for love.

While some students spent their Valentine’s Day out with their significant other or enjoying the single life, I was charged with finding the future Mrs. Preston in three minutes or less.

I spent Valentine’s Day at the International Center at a UAB-sponsored speed dating session. It was interesting, to say the least.

For the record, UAB did a great job planning the event. A lot of people showed up and it was well organized. The men moved from table to table (which I wasn’t a fan of, my original seat was pretty comfortable), and the couples were given three minutes to sell themselves to each other.

The plot thickened when we were presented with a piece of paper that asked us to check yes or no if interested in a person. If there were any matches, the couples would be sent each other’s information through their MSU email.

Three minutes is not a lot of time. I’m not reinventing the wheel by saying that. It takes a lot of self-confidence and courage to try to make yourself appealing in three minutes and, in all honesty, not everyone succeeded. I’m sure some girls are saying the same thing about me right now because of all the things that have happened in my life, being stopped in the streets and being mistaken for Ryan Gosling is not one of them.

But there also were some interesting girls. I met a girl who has written a book, I made hometown connections with another girl and found myself having a good time … for a little bit.

The problem came at about hour two, when I had grown weary of answering the same three questions to start off the conversation. It would have been much more efficient to write my name, year and major on a card and give it to the girls before I had even said a word.

It’s hard, I get it. Talking to someone for three minutes is awkward, talking to strangers in general can be awkward. I was probably guilty of falling into the name, year and major trap as well. It would have been much more interesting to focus on questions that required actual mental stimulation.

The flaw with speed dating wasn’t with UAB or anything that could have been planned. The flaw with speed dating is speed dating. The entire process is structurally flawed. I’m of the opinion that it is impossible to form a meaningful connection with someone in three minutes, or in any timed manner at all, for that matter.

People are complicated. People are messy. Those complications and that mess need to be a part of what you like about the person, and those things aren’t going to be revealed in three minutes.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I went to the event. As a person, I believe in not knocking something until you’ve tried it. But will I be going back anytime soon? That’s looking like a no.

Geoff Preston is the State News cops and courts reporter. Reach him at gpreston@statenews.com.

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