Dish duty. Whose week it is to clean the bathroom? How to split up the food. And the worst: Getting kicked out of the room so a roommate can get it on.
Regardless of the living situation, rude roommates are everywhere.
Communication key to roommate harmony
Junior chemistry Liz Mundy, left, and zoology junior Lisa Smith pose for an illustration in a their dorm at West Holmes Hall. Already having lived with each other for a year, Mundy and Smith have learned one another’s personality traits.
Whether it’s living in a residence hall or off campus, the same uncomfortable issues with roommates are inevitable if they’re not confronted.
Dealing with roommate issues early on in the year can help prevent them from coming up again later, Residence Life Director Paul Goldblatt said.
“The most important thing is open communication right from the start,” he said. “Start off clear-cut, so the person knows what the issue is.”
Even with the communication lines open, roommates don’t always get along.
Zoology junior Lisa Smith said when things get tense with her roommate, the best thing is give each other room to breathe.
“When we get stressed out, it gets kind of tense in here,” Smith said. “But it’s easy to go into someone else’s room when you need space.”
Trouble with confronting a stranger about serious issues is a possibility, but West Holmes Hall resident mentor Anthony Rademacher recommends not rooming with a close friend.
“I can see how some people who don’t know each other well enough don’t have that open line of communication, but going in blind is the best thing you can do,” said Rademacher, a microbiology sophomore.
However, going in blind can create awkward situations if they are not dealt with directly, Goldblatt said, because comfort has yet to be established when the year begins.
“Sometimes someone will assume that the other person can read body language,” Goldblatt said. “But if one person doesn’t know the other person that well, they don’t pick up on those signals.”
Smith, who has lived with the same person for two years, said that knowing the person’s personality traits helps with potential problems.
“We know what bothers each other, so we know what not to do,” she said.
READ MORE
But going in blind freshman year did not go so smoothly, Smith added.
“We were very different people,” Smith said. “But I’m a pretty easy-going person, and so lots of the time I didn’t care to bring up issues. I just let it go.”
Smith became accustomed to her roommate’s boyfriend staying the night almost every night, although his own room was two floors down.
“If he was here and it was getting late at night, I could just expect he was staying even though he (lived) on the first floor,” she said. “But I was usually in bed already, so it wasn’t a big deal.”
If a person wants to have someone stay over, be up-front about it, Goldblatt said.
“Many times, the roommate will say, ‘If I had only known it bothers you, I wouldn’t have had that person over,’” he said.
Support student media! Please consider donating to The State News and help fund the future of journalism.
Smith’s roommate, chemistry junior Liz Mundy, said when it comes to having friends or significant others over to stay, a heads-up of at least a day would be ideal.
“I wouldn’t say, ‘Oh hey, this is Joe, and he’s staying for a week, just so you know,’” Mundy said. “That’s obnoxious.”
In the residence halls, some resident mentors pass out roommate contracts early in the year. These establish boundaries between two roommates so there is less controversy later in the year. The contract covers issues such as sharing food, sharing clothes and sleeping schedules.
Rademacher said he issued the roommate agreement at the start of this year to deter future problems, and said no problems have arisen yet.
If roommates aren’t getting along to the point that a mentor needs to be involved, Rademacher said he would discuss it with each individual instead of making it a group discussion.
“We deal with it one person at a time so the situation doesn’t get heated,” Rademacher said.
Signing a roommate agreement is only necessary if roommates are not getting along from the get-go, Mundy said.
“If within the first few days you’re already fighting with your roommate, maybe a roommate agreement is good, so you can approach the issues early on,” she said.
“But unless you need a reason to have (the agreement), that’s kind of pushing it.”
Goldblatt recommends bringing up issues before things are tense or uncomfortable.
“Do it in a way that’s nonthreatening,” he said. “Don’t do it when you’re upset, and let that person know clearly what the issue is.”
Roommate issues come up regardless of the size of the living space if roommates do not establish early communication about issues, Goldblatt said.
“These situations happen whenever you have two people sharing a room,” he said.
