So you spent all your money on St. Patrick's Day on green beer, and you're still working on scrubbing the green tint off of your tongue.

Every other phrase out of your professors' mouths is either "exam" or "paper."

Your mother is calling two times a day to ask if you're graduating this year.

Springtime doesn't seem to feel any different from wintertime and you've been wearing the same sweatpants for weeks since you just don't feel like doing another load of laundry.

Bummer.

Well, when all else fails, the best thing to do is to return to the simple things in life that haven't let you down so far. And a staple for a good old fashioned, cheap, rootin'-tootin' quality time with friends can always be spent with a 40 oz. of Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor.

As Sublime once said, "The answer's always waiting at the liquor store, 40 oz. to freedom, so I'll take that walk."

FYI: This is malt liquor. It's alcoholic, so you must be 21 or older to purchase and consume it.

Supplies:

Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor

compadres

Ingredient:

Beer

Directions:

Take a firm grip of the bottle with your right hand and twist off the top with the thumb and pointer finger on your left hand. Tilt your neck back, take a nice long swig and yell out, "Ah, mother's milk." Place the cap on the table, read the cap, stare at the word puzzle with a confused look on your face, flick the cap at one of your buddies and say, "Gotcha."

Cost?

Bam, about $2.50 and you're out the door.