Haslett - After coaching four children through college graduation, parents Dick and Mary Haan are looking forward to their next challenge - the first grade.

The couple, 61 and 60 years old respectively, opted out of cushy retirements in favor of packing lunches and picking up toys.

The Haans adopted Mariah, 4, and Lonnie, 5, in November 2002, after raising Lonnie as a foster child on and off since 2001.

"They adopted us," Mary said. "We had just gotten back from our time share, and we got a phone call from the foster agency. They said, we have this little boy running around the office, would we be able to pick him up. When we got there, Dick walked in and put his arms out and, Lonnie ran up and jumped right in."

Dick and Mary have five biological children and have been foster parents for more than 30 years.

"We were always involved in the right-to-life issue," Dick said. "We think it's the better alternative. We thought we should put our actions where our words are."

Mary, who was a past president of Right to Life of Michigan, said many of the people who choose life can't parent.

"They can't make good on an 18-year commitment," Mary said. She said her family did its part by providing a home for foster children.

Both of the Haans are retired, Dick after working for General Motors and Mary from an interior design career.

"It really helps free up the time to take care of the kids," Dick said. "It's a two-person job."

Dick and Mary both graduated from MSU. Dick got his mechanical engineering degree in 1965, the year they were married. Mary graduated one year later with an interior design degree.

Three of the Haan's biological children have MSU degrees and "hopefully Lonnie and Mariah will be Michigan State grads," Mary said.

A troubled adoption

The Haans describe the process of adopting the two children as anything but easy. Although they still were caring for Lonnie, the state decided it would be best if he moved in with his sister Mariah and her foster family.

"The toughest time was during the foster stage," Dick said. "Letting him go and not knowing when he was coming back."

He said they frequently visited the other family before the move because Mariah was there and they would take Lonnie so the two could play together. Lonnie was a little skeptical when they loaded his toys into the van, Dick said.

"When we got out of the van and started taking out his toys he knew something was up - that he was going somewhere else," Dick said. "He just started screaming and no one could calm him down."

Dick said giving Lonnie up was the hardest thing he had to do during the whole ordeal.

"It was tough thinking this wasn't right, but having to tell him this is the way it would have to be," he said.

After more than 22 months in foster care, the children became wards of the state in July 2002. After the announcement, both the Haans and the family who had the children wanted to adopt them.

"It was really a struggle to get them," Dick said. "When they were up for adoption, (the state) hired an outside firm to do an evaluation of each family."

After a child enters foster care, he said the state is supposed to make a determination whether they will return to the family or come up for adoption within one year.

In their case, he said the state used the "best interest" clause to delay the process. Dick said the agencies get paid depending on how many children are in the system, and he thinks they should get paid when children find permanent homes.

"In my opinion, there is no incentive for these agencies to have kids adopted," he said.

Amy Heincelman is the director of child and family services for Spectrum Human Services in Southfield, the company the Haans adopted Lonnie and Mariah through. She said the agency considers the needs of the child first.

"Each case is individual," she said. "The goal is to reunite the child with the biological parents unless the court tells us we can't."

She said the process of determination can be delayed if the parent continues to be a presence in the child's life.

"Sometimes the parents do really good following their court orders - sometimes not," Heincelman said. "Sometimes the parent does really good then falls back, and a case can linger in care for a year or two."

Because of the unpredictability of issues related to how the birth parents will play into the children's lives, Heincelman said there are no hard-and-fast rules binding the agency to a time frame.

"Our target is to have 80 percent of the kids reunited or adopted within seven to nine months," she said.

Growing up Haan

The Haans say life is different since the children came to live with them. While their friends are going to Florida and living the normal retired life of socializing and going out to dinner, the Haans said the children go with them everywhere.

"Some people think, 'OK, you're 61 and the kids are 5 years old so...' but the kids keep us young," Dick said.

When Dick first retired, he played golf almost every day. Now, between school and taking the children to different activities, he might get to the course once a month, he said.

The Haans' youngest daughter Rachel recently moved back to Michigan, after living in Vermont and said she notices small differences in her parents since the children came.

"The house is a lot busier," Rachel said. "I remember growing up it had always been a neat, clean and perfect house. Now I go home and there's toys everywhere."

Rachel said the family, which had been living in the rural Howell area, moved to Haslett to offer the children a more racially integrated area to grow up in.

"The place we lived in Howell was not a good choice for them to grow up," Rachel said. "My parents didn't want the kids to feel weird being the only black kids in school."

After living in Howell for about one year, Lonnie came home after school and told his parents when he grew up he would be white, Dick said. The Haans sat him down and explained God had created him, and he was perfect the way he was.

"We want them to grow up thinking their race is no different than ours - both have bad, both have outstanding people," Dick said.

He said a worry he had about the adoption was what his mom would think. He said his mother Betty came from Grand Rapids Dutch background and never had the racial integration his generation had. He put the question of whether they should adopt the children to her.

"I remember when she told me 'I think that would be great,'" he said. "Then I knew it was the right thing to do."

An extended family

The Haans were notified of the state's decision to award them custody of the children in September 2002. Almost four months went by and the children still were living with the other foster family.

"We took a leap of faith and bought four tickets to Disney World," Mary said. "We called the adoption agency and asked if they were going to deny the children a chance to go."

After the call, the agency expedited the process. Three days after getting custody of the children, the Haans' plane left for Florida.

"The trip was a strategy to claim what was rightfully ours," Mary said.

During the trip, the family visited Betty, who lived in Ellenton, Fla.

"She was as glad to finally see them as we were," Mary said.

When Dick's mother needed to be brought closer so the family could better take care of her, Dick went to Florida to bring her to a care facility in the Lansing area.

"The kids loved to go over there and run around and play," Dick said. "They brought a little life into the place."

Betty passed away Jan. 7, 2005. The Haans were grateful for the time the children spent with her.

"The time they spent there really made an impression on them," Dick said. "When we go by there today they look out the window and say 'There goes Grandma's house.'"