One perk to being a top-notch Hollywood celeb is the no-nudity clause. If Julia Roberts doesn't want to bare it all, she just slaps a sine qua non in her $20 million contract.
Obviously, marionettes aren't afforded that privilege.
There's a scene in "Team America: World Police" where two puppets, standing on a sunset-lit bluff, come to terms with their romantic feelings for each other.
"If you promise never to die, I will have sex with you right now," says one character.
Posed with this situation, naive audience members are thinking: "They're not going to do it. There's no way they're going to do it."
They do it.
It's awful.
Not only is the scene vulgar and offensive (if the actors weren't puppets, it would be bona fide pornography), it's just plain stupid. But then, is that any surprise, noting this film comes from the same people who make cartoon classics such as "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo."
Here, "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone take their poorly aimed pot shots at the war on terror, Hollywood activism, the United Nations and various world leaders with an all-marionette cast.
Team America is attempting to stop terrorism in the Middle East, therefore protecting global freedom. In the process, they continually destroy world patrimony, including the Eiffel Tower and the Great Sphinx.
What Team America doesn't realize, however, is that the real enemy is North Korean leader Kim Jong II. He's plotting a weapons-of-mass destruction scheme that would take out the entire globe.
The film falters because Parker and Stone won't stand their ground. They equally mock U.S. foreign policy and the Hollywood pundits who oppose it. They parody terrorists and peacekeepers alike. "Team America" is obviously a commentary on world politics, but it does nothing to offer a solution.
To the film's credit, however, the marionettes themselves are impressive. Parker, who directed the film, chose to use conventional camera techniques, treating the puppets as if they were legitimate actors. The technique gives the film at least a little credibility.
Parker, who earned an Oscar nod for his song "Blame Canada" from the 1999 film "South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut," hits melodic gold once again. The hysterical songbook includes a tune about movie montage cliches and one about AIDS from the fictional Broadway musical "Lease." The songs are the film's best comedic contribution.
"Team America" carpet-bombs its audience with so many gags, something is sure to tickle a nerve. But by the time puppets are puking in the streets and making diplomatic analogies using digestive and reproductive references, it's obvious Parker and Stone are out of ideas.
Certainly, it's difficult to mix politics with obscenities and body humor- then add a juvenile element like marionettes - and still come out on top. "Team America" might be proof it can't be done.
