Watching "Cold Creek Manor" is like eating cold leftovers from the fridge.
The suspense film left little on the screen in the way of plot or real danger, just a lot of boring exposition and a mystery so easy anyone could have solved it.
Cooper Tilson (Dennis Quaid) is a documentary filmmaker living in New York with his wife Leah (Sharon Stone) and their two children, Kristen and Jesse.
After Jesse is almost killed by an impatient driver, the family decides to move to the country. The Tilsons buy a big, rundown, scary-looking farmhouse to live in. Inside it are the leftover belongings of the previous owners, the Massie family.
Once the family becomes settled, they get a surprise visit from former resident Dale Massie. But nowhere to be seen are his wife and two children. The Tilsons quickly become involved in the mystery of what happened to Dale's family and what secrets are held in Cold Creek Manor.
Somewhere in this movie, there are hints of a writer who wanted to produce the next "Deliverance" or "Cape Fear." You have the city-slicker dad who is challenged by the cunning hillbilly country criminal. Unfortunately, the movie seems to haphazardly throw some plot points at the audience, hoping the viewers are stupid enough not to figure it out until the end.
All of which is pretty disappointing, considering the cinematography is quite good. Cinematographer Declan Quinn ("Leaving Las Vegas") did a fantastic job along with "Leaving Las Vegas" director Mike Figgis. What hurt this lackluster movie is writer Richard Jefferies' script. Jefferies' writing credits include "Man of the House." Due to my respect for Chevy Chase, I'll let the readers insert their own gag here.
The Tilson family never seems to be in any real danger. During the snake scene, they are terrorized by a handful of snakes creeping around their house.
The serpents have the Tilsons screaming and running to their roof. Even Indiana Jones would have been laughing at this point. If the garden snakes were placed in the film to make the audience jump from its seats, these filmmakers had better go back to whatever children's zoo they got them from and at least get a sizable number.
I really expected more with this movie. Quaid, the poor man's Harrison Ford, and Stone, an aging sexpot, have a history of films that are either good or bad enough to get thrown on the $1.99 DVD cart at your local Best Buy.
What also hurts this film and others is the reliance on country people and city people to have a grudge against one another's lifestyles.
Hillbillies always seem to have some sort of dark secret that city people must discover. And the other hillbillies are either too stupid or just don't want to take the time to solve the mystery.
Sadly, the only crime in this movie was the ticket price you'll pay to see it.
