Frats a dirty, memorable living option

For the past three years, I have lived my life in complete, utter filth.

Alex Altman

Overflowing cans of garbage splatter the hallways, poorly plumbed toilets mar the bathrooms and the stench of skunked beer whips me like a belt every time I step foot outside my room.

If you haven’t connected the dots already, I live in a fraternity house.

Unless you’re one of the few and proud who have inhabited one of these hellholes, you simply won’t understand what it’s like.

People chuck their empty beer cans into the corners of common areas because the trash is full, leave human waste flooding the toilets for the next person to deal with and leave dirty plates rotting in the kitchen sink because tossing them in the dishwasher is too much of a nuisance.

So what prompted me, a graduating senior, to lease my life to the Garbage Gods for a third-straight year? I suppose the better question would be: Why wouldn’t I?

Truth is, living in filth is a small price to pay for the camaraderie, entertainment and endless stock of memories I’ve forged the last few years under the roof of my fraternity house.

I could have leased an apartment like most of my classmates, but the appeal of living in a sanitary environment was tempered by the following thought: I have my entire life to live in an apartment or house, but never will I have another opportunity to live with 30 of my best friends.

Being constantly surrounded by my buddies is what I will remember most about my college experience.

When I’m a grizzled old man slowly seeping into the early stages of senility, the memories I made while living in the fraternity house will be the ones to which I will cling most dearly.

That’s because when you’re living with 30 of your friends, there is never a dull moment. There is always a story to be told, a TV show to be watched or gossip to be shared.

Of course, the 24/7 party environment isn’t for everyone, so let me give this quick disclaimer: If you don’t like parties, a fraternity house is not the place for you.

The distractions can be overwhelming, and at times, quite maddening — especially if sleep and academics are high on your priority list.

Homework, I’ve learned, is difficult to do when someone is throwing a rager in the room next door; while sleep, I’ve noted, is nothing more than a pipe dream during weekends when your house is littered with hundreds of screaming drunks.

Although the lack of rest can be frustrating at times, it’s just another small price to pay for the convenience of living inside the house.

Of course, everyone has a different account of what it’s like to live inside an animal house. That’s because every fraternity on this campus has its own culture, and every fraternity member responds differently to the environment.

Therefore, if any of you young, disillusioned readers out there plan on making your living decision based on my mumblings, note that most of your experiences will more than likely be different than mine.

But I can guarantee you this: If you do decide to make a fraternity house your home, it’s an experience you will treasure for the rest of your life.

Or until you become senile.