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'We’re trying to bring the Black excellence together': Students discuss Black love in media, on campus

February 22, 2023

The month of February holds many meanings: It's the month of love. It's the month of Black History. 

Intersecting the two, Black love has been sparking in the media in more ways than one. Black couples are branching out, creating foundations for their families and trying to change the narrative of Black love being “ghetto” or “toxic love.”

However, despite these attempts, many of the trending Black couples fit into the negative narrative, feeding into the media's perception of Black love. 

Psychology freshman Sade Allen said relationships like Chrisean Rock and Blueface on social media show the wrong message about how the Black community shows and receives love. 

“It doesn’t show that we have any form of what actual love is,” Allen said. “When they keep posting about the toxic relationships they're having, that just makes us think that toxicity is okay.” 

Couples like Chrisean Rock and Blueface enhance the perspective that Black love is always a toxic, ghetto love story. In reality, this is not how Black men or women want to be seen or treated, Allen said. 

“They think that we like it,” Allen said. “So with them thinking that we like it, that's all they see from us, that's all they expect from us.”

Digital storytelling freshman Brooke Chatman also said Black people feed off of gossip a lot, causing toxic Black couples to stay in the spotlight, as opposed to Black couples promoting healthy relationship tactics such as communication and comfort.

The constant engagement on the "tea-filled" social media accounts like TheShadeRoom, continues to promote the wrong view of Black love, she said. 

“We feed off gossip a lot sometimes,” Chatman said. “(I) hate TheShadeRoom with a passion because they just post to be messy because they know how people are gonna comment on it.” 

On the flip side, couples like Ciara and Russell Willson get called “corny” or “played out” as they exhibit a healthy Black relationship. Social media picks at healthy, loving Black couples to group them into the same field as the toxic ones, wanting to make the narrative the true reality, Chatman said. 

“When there are those cute couples, people always got something to say,” Chatman said. “Like Ciara and Russell Willson, people call him corny, which he might be, but he treats her good.”

Organizations across Michigan State's campus have created events tailored to these two major holidays. Organizations like Black Student Alliance, or BSA, MSU Urban Dreams and South Neighborhood Black Caucus have organized events ranging from bake sales to roundtable discussions about these two holidays.

These events are creating a range of hands-on experiences for the Black community, continuing to create spaces for Black students to be themselves around other people that look like them. 

Some say these groups are enlightening the Black community at MSU, yet some Black students believe these things are only happening because it's Black History Month. 

“To be honest I feel like it's the same stuff every year,” Allen said. “So as far as the clubs, what we try to do, there's nothing different that we try to do that I have seen … yes we’re doing the events, yes we’re trying to bring the Black excellence together but we need something different.” 

Chatman said that it is Black women who suffer from this ideology around Black love.

“We (Black women) as a whole, don’t really have anyone in our corner,” Chatman said. “Even Black men will go out of their way to bash us … there's Black men that exclusively date white women, which is fine, but you can do that without bashing Black woman in your process. … A lot of people don’t love themselves and they'll talk about Black women and say, ‘Oh well, y'all are just loud and angry’ and it's like 'Well why are we angry?' We have reasons to be angry.” 

The Black students on MSU's campus deserve to feel like they are loved here while doing things that they love, Allen said. She pushes MSU to encourage Black students to express love for themselves as well, encouraging the concept of self-love. Whether it is going on a walk, therapy, journaling, listening to your favorite music, cooking, or simply going to sleep can be considered acts of self-love for yourself.

“I go to therapy and I’m proud about it,” Chatman said. “I meditate and I literally seek out other Black people because sometimes you just need that cultural connection.”

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Some universities have even created courses to promote Black self-acceptance and self-love. According to Emory University's website, a course titled “Power of Black Self-Love” was added to the registrar, encouraging students to engage in conversations they are passionate about, digging deeper into the power of black self-love.  

The course demonstrates the value of being a Black student, allowing the students to prepare and present projects that reflect themselves truly. Projects ranged from Black masculinity, Black excellence, "Black girl magic" and more.

Dianne Stewart, associate professor of religion and co-teacher of the course, said that the need to examine Black self-love should be a given. 

“To white Americans, the need to examine and affirm black self-love may seem a difficult concept. Shouldn’t that be a given?” Stewart said in an Emory article. “But for black Americans, it is a complicated topic of timely urgency for each generation — one shaped by historical forces and infused with the tragedy and beauty that characterize the collective soul-life of black people.” 

February is a time for love. Following the Feb. 13 mass shooting, February has become a time to show how much Spartans mean to each other and themselves. This includes Black love — Allen wants to see media that exhibits Black love as strong, healthy and beautiful to help paint the correct picture. 

“I would wanna see support from other races,” Allen said. “If we really talk about black history month, we’re celebrating it, it's all about us … let's try to bring together different races … we’re getting to the point where we should be coming together as a community.”

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