Thursday, April 18, 2024

Cats review: Karly Graham has never been more of a dog person

January 7, 2020
Karly Graham
Karly Graham —

Spoilers ahead

As my three-week-long winter break was quickly coming to an end, I held on to my last Friday night in my hometown for as long as I could. With two of my closest friends, I made my way to the local mall and purchased three tickets to what critics have panned beyond words: Cats.

Reviews for the movie were terrible: Rotten Tomatoes had it scored at 21%, Metacritic at 32% and IMDb at 2.8 stars out of 10. Critics and average citizens alike had little respect for the furry felines.

I'll admit, I went in with very little knowledge about Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical. The most knowledge I had about the plot was that there were cats, and the only song I knew prior to seeing the film was "Memory."

I will also admit that I went in with the highest hopes I could, despite the negativity surrounding the movie. My fellow movie-goers could not say the same, based on their laughter during the first few minutes of the movie. However, the rowdy teens settled down enough so I could appreciate the movie in its truest form.

Without the distractions, I noticed other choices the director made that I was not super fond of, to say the least.

The film's main redeeming quality is the choreography, which was absolutely beautiful. While I don't know a whole lot about dance, I knew that it was really pleasant to watch. It was hard to appreciate the dancing during the opening number because the camera angle switched far too often for my liking, but maybe that's just me.

As the movie progressed, I realized very quickly: I had no idea what was going on.

Between Jennifer Hudson's appearance as Grizabella and Idris Elba's appearance as Macavity, there was a lot to take in. I went into the movie aware that there were plenty of big names in the movie, including Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, James Cordon and Judi Dench.

It took me well into the second half of the musical to understand the plot and the goals of the many cats.

The cats were competing for something, they wanted to be the "Jellicle choice." The Jellicles were the group of cats that all stuck together, and Dench's character, Old Deuteronomy, was responsible for deciding which of the contenders would win.

What made the movie confusing, however, was that it was clear that Macavity was a villain, but it took a while to figure out his motive. Each contender would be introduced, and then ultimately tricked and kidnapped by the furry man-cat with piercing green eyes.

For being People's 2018 Sexiest Man Alive, I had a really hard time looking at Elba's character throughout the movie.

Once Swift's fur-sona Bombalurina was revealed as Macavity's assistant who was making all the cats tired with catnip (which would have the opposite effect, in reality) it finally made sense that Macavity was competing to be the Jellicle choice. A breakthrough! It was so exciting!

Since things were finally starting to make sense to me, I was less than surprised when Old Deuteronomy was kidnapped and taken away to Macavity's ship (because he kept all of the contestants on a ship, for some reason).

That was when the tides changed.

For the first time in the movie, I felt genuine joy while watching it. I wasn't trying to justify or look for joy between switching shots. I wasn't trying to look for beauty. I just felt happy while watching a scene.

One of the cats was a magician, and the other Jellicles rallied around him, singing about how he would be able to bring Old Deuteronomy back.

It was incredibly wholesome content. Just when they gave up hope and thought he couldn't do it, she appeared behind them.

I loved it. Everything about that moment was fun and allowed for a break from ridiculous, creepy content.

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That was the peak, it couldn't get any better from there. So like a rollercoaster, the car went straight down. Old Deuteronomy was saved, so Victoria, the main cat, brought poor Grizabella into the room with the Jellicles, despite her not being one. One might describe her as a has-been.

She sang "Memory," the most well known song of the show, and Hudson's performance was beautiful. Then, just like a rollercoaster, there was an immediate drop.

Old Deuteronomy declared that Grizabella was the Jellicle choice. This, I learned at the very end, meant that she died. She was sent to Jellicle heaven.

What I am saying is that throughout this hour-and-49-minute-long movie, the cats were competing to die. They sang songs and performed only to be killed if they were the choice.

The movie was weird, made me very uncomfortable throughout the vast majority of it and just honestly had a bad plot.

That said, there were a few redeeming qualities, which allows me to rest it at a solid 4/10.

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