The entrance hall of the church was filled with photos documenting her life. From pictures of her and Dale’s wedding to photos of their family before and after Stacy became sick. There was even a photo of her grinning ear to ear while holding up a flier for “50 Shades! The Musical Parody.”

And Stacy was never without a loved one at her side stroking her hair or talking to her about anything under the sun. Dale said her eyes stayed open throughout the service.

“I think Patty knows that I’m here, I’m here to support (Stacy), I’m not going to give up,” Dale said. “I think it gave peace of mind to Patty to see that, because I never gave up on her.”

Stable

Stacy’s life has been a constant uphill battle since December 2013, when the alumna fell ill with a staph infection that spread to her heart and damaged one of the valves. From there, the infection spread to different parts of her body, the worst being her brain. Aneurysms in turn began to form along the surface of her brain and, when one burst that Christmas Eve, she was sent into a semi-responsive state.

At that point, the only interactions her family could get out of her were glances around the room, yawns and the occasional kisses on the cheek.

She spent about two months in the University of Michigan Health System hospital in Ann Arbor before she was moved to Spectrum Health System, a neurology rehab system and nursing home in Grand Rapids. There she spent five days a week participating in occupational, speech and physical therapy, a process that has lessened since her arrival at The Willows at Okemos on April 3.

Now, an average day for Stacy includes three to four doses of various medications and the occasional restorative therapy session, which has her on her stomach before she’s sat up to work on upper body movement.

In between those moments, she and her father sneak off to watch TV on the big screen. MSU alumna and Stacy's sister Kelly Blakeslee typically returns to Southfield for Wednesday and Friday classes but, thanks to a leave of absence from work, has been spending weekends with her sister. Her former fiancé is no longer in the picture. 

As for Stacy’s current condition, the main word Dale used to describe it was “stable.”

“The change is she’s not going to the hospital like she was in Spectrum,” he said. “She’s not been to the hospital since (she arrived here). With her meds, they’ve got her to where they got it right. … She’s no longer on antidepressants, they cut her back on pain meds.”

Dale said he has spent at least part of every day at his daughter’s side, even if only for an hour or so to keep her company.

The only day that streak was broken was the day his wife died.

“We were best friends, soulmates”

“I was two minutes late,” Kelly said. “He (Dale) had already been there that morning, then he left to go head out and see Stacy. … I called him and said ‘you need to get here now.’”

Patricia died surrounded by the voices of family friends reading scriptures and talking to her. Dale made it back to Charlotte in 10 minutes, a drive he said normally took him half an hour to make.

Kelly had been meeting with the director of the funeral home to discuss future arrangements for her mother. Because the decline in Patricia’s health had been so drastic during the week leading up to her death, both she and Dale said they knew it would be happening soon.

But Dale said knowing it was coming wasn’t enough to prepare them for the loss.

“You’re never prepared for it,” he said. “And if someone says they are, that’s not true. I knew she was sick, I knew this, but still it doesn’t matter. It’s your loved one, and if you care nothing’s going to be okay. It’s hard for me, I wasn’t ready for any of it, but I knew when it happened I would have to accept it.”

Dale and Patricia enjoyed 27 years of marriage together. The two met at a local IHOP in 1976, when she worked as a waitress and he worked as a cook, waiter and busboy. The two moved in together when Dale was in high school and while Patricia was in college — and when the parents came to visit, the double mattress went up and the two single mattresses came down. 

“We were best friends, soulmates,” Dale said. “We started dating and never moved on since.”

The thoughts that count

To make matters worse for the family, Dale was let go from his job at Communications Technologies, Inc. on Oct. 13 — the day before Stacy’s birthday and before one of their planned visits to see Patricia in Charlotte.

Now the family is relying on the money left over from his previous vacation time and money from the GoFundMe page Kelly started after Stacy first got sick. While donations to the page had slowed down after awhile, Dale said recent media coverage of their family prompted people to start donating again.

Even people he went to high school with have left donations, usually with messages attached saying they wished they could do more.

“To me it’s more the thought, though — even if it’s just $2 and a thought it’s like, wow, someone does care,” he said.

Kelly said they have been trying to be frugal with their spending when they can, but they still need money for gas and to eat, and for what Dale described as a “literal stack of medical bills” for Patricia.

“We appreciate what people donate because it helps us get caught up,” she said. “You don’t realize how far behind you are on bills until you’re drowning.”

Kelly added that their family and friends have been emotionally supportive since Patricia’s death, offering kind words and bringing them meals.

But one of the most stunning gestures was from the Palmer, Bush and Jenson Family Funeral Homes when they went to make the payments for Patricia’s funeral. Dale had been prepared to pay with his Visa Card and still planned to take some money from the GoFundMe to help cover the expenses.

When he asked how much it would cost, he was told not to worry about it — the funeral home would cover the expenses. The gesture brought Kelly to tears and had Dale, who is never without something to say, speechless.

Now, with the funeral behind them and backed by the support of their family, friends and people in the community who have heard Stacy’s story, the family can only look to the future.

“I always look forward, that’s what I do,” Kelly said. “I look forward, I look at what can be and it’s never like dreading what could be, it’s always an optimistic what can be. I think that’s what keeps me going forward, because I want more for my family, and I think being positive and optimistic about it is the most beneficial thing I can do for them.”

Stacy’s smile

Dale said a good way to sum up the dynamic between Stacy and Patricia was if one was a Democrat and the other was a Republican, they’d be wonderful at debating.

Kelly said discussions between her and her mother were held at a more friendly level than anything else. When it came to her mother and Stacy, she was always on the receiving end of both emotional, passionate sides of the story.

“They would get very emotional about certain topics, then that would kind of cause an argument but not one that would last long,” she said. “They were similar, passionate, put their whole hearts into something and just rolled with it. … They’re both selfless, both motivated by the things they love.”

Stacy was able to visit Patricia in Charlotte twice before her passing, one of those visits being Stacy’s birthday. Because the cancer had spread to her brain Patricia’s memory had started to grow fuzzy — she didn’t remember being told Stacy was coming to visit her the first time.

But when she saw her daughter being wheeled into her room, she let out a happy cry of, “Oh, Stacy! Oh, I love her.”

In previous interviews with The State News, Patricia continuously expressed her desire to see a Stacy smile again. When asked if she ever did, Dale said “absolutely.”

“(What keeps me going every day is) that love will conquer and make her better,” he said. “What gets me going every single day is that every day is a different day, and there’s always hope each day to get better. You have to keep that attitude or you might as well curl up in a corner and not say anything. … You’ve gotta have hope.”