A small but passionate group of students gathered in the Union’s second floor Mosaic Multicultural Unity Center on Wednesday night. Sitting in a circle, each individual introduced themselves and specified their preferred pronouns before the discussion began with a YouTube video by video-blogger Laci Green titled "NO SEX?! — ASEXUALITY."
This discussion group was the second installation of the LBGT Resource Center's monthly "Color Me Queer" discussion group series, which began this spring semester. This month's topic was “50 Shades of Gray: Asexuality” – a clever reference to the popular “Fifty Shades of Grey” book and the colors of the asexual pride flag, which are purple, white, gray and black. LBGTRC Practicum Intern Shakivla Todd leads the discussion group and formulates the topics for each month.
“We’re geared to talk about those things that aren’t usually talked about,” Todd, a graduate student in student affairs and administration, said.
Many queer groups or clubs focus too often on the sexualities behind the most obvious letters of the LBGT acronym – lesbian and gay, she said. Additionally, social groups for specific sexualities or races often separate those identities, making it difficult for queer people of color to find a home where they feel comfortable sharing every facet of their identity.
“Our goal is to increase visibility of marginalized groups,” Todd said. “Specifically people of color and queer people of color.”
While she usually chooses topics based on what’s happening in the media or the world around her, the topic for this month’s discussion – asexuality – came about because of specific student concerns, Todd said. She believes it’s important for the asexual community to be recognized and for misunderstandings to be cleared up.
“People say things like, “Oh you’re asexual because you couldn’t get laid,” but at the end of the day there are multiple reasons of why,” Todd said. “(Asexuals) just don’t have a sexual desire for people.”
Though Todd hosted the discussion along with Sean Wolski, social relations and policy senior, the duo emphasized their role as facilitators, rather than leaders of the group. The discussion was punctuated by the real life experiences of several asexual students, highlighting difficulties with sustaining romantic relationships with non-asexual partners and even with discovering their own sexual identity. For many, online resources and social media sites like Tumblr were the venues to self-discovery.
In the safe space Todd created, members of the group shared their deeply personal stories and opinions regarding asexuality and their experience with their own sexual identities. Facilitation of that sort of discussion, Todd said, is the ultimate goal of "Color Me Queer."
“GAMeBOIs, Papis, and Thugz*: Racially-Themed Queer Parties,” will be next month's topic, followed by “Coming Out in Communities of Color” in April.
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