Friday, November 29, 2024

Take a peek behind the curtain and test drive the NEW StateNews.com today!

How to maintain long-distance relationships

April 7, 2014

One distinct memory that always comes to mind this time of year is from high school: Spring is break up season. For so many young couples who will be spending the summer apart, the end of the spring semester brings about hard decisions that either solidify or end their time together. For a courageous few, however, the end of the spring means long-distance. This is my life.

My boyfriend, Ricky Price, and I met at the end of freshman year and have spent every summer apart from one another since: one while I worked for the Academic Orientation Program, another while studying in Brazil and finally this summer at an internship with a multinational corporation in Toronto. Throughout these experiences, however, I have learned a number of lessons that are important to keep in mind if you’re facing the possibility of a long-term relationship.

1) Remember the important dates and take advantage of alternative dates.

Although we were physically not together, the decision to become exclusive with my boyfriend was made on July 4th, when I decided it was time for crazy freshman me to settle down. Despite the fact that we have never been physically together for this anniversary, we always make an effort to Skype and see each other. We also choose a weekend when we are together so we can celebrate our anniversary in a special way, which typically involves a weekend of fun activities like a trip to the planetarium or splurging on a hotel getaway.

2) Try to communicate as much as possible.

When you cannot physically see your loved one, I have learned that being a phone call away is a good way to continue to feel their presence in your life. In order for this to work, one must make an effort both to remember to send messages and keep a phone or similar device nearby to respond to messages as promptly as possible.

3) Be understanding.

This lesson can help in many ways and can be seen in many forms. For example, while I was abroad it was very difficult to communicate because Internet access was not consistent or constant. And without an international phone, contact was difficult on some days. However, my boyfriend was understanding in that he knew sometimes I just could not respond as fast as I would have wanted. Additionally, it is helpful to understand that you and your partner are in a curious position in your lives, and summer can be a time for life-changing experiences. One must be realistic and realize that when one is spending a day at the Eiffel Tower or the Pão de Açúcar, texting is not an immediate concern, and a partner should be understanding and flexible. Finally, couples must understand that some nights, one’s partner might go out with new friends and have a little fun. Rather than getting angry that they are out without you, try to avoid feeling jealous or left out. Instead, understand that they are making memories that they might never have at any other time in their lives.

4) Look to the future.

It is difficult to see your loved one making beautiful memories and having great experiences.

My recommendation is simple: remember that if it is meant to be, there is a great future ahead. Within this future are numerous opportunities to travel with each other and create memories together. With this in mind, the time apart can be time to plan for a future together.

In general, I would recommend couples try to stay calm. A summer is only three months, and a little space can make the heart grow fonder. From my experience, distance has been nothing but an opportunity to evaluate one’s life and position in a relationship, which has always ended up helping me out in the long run.

Daniel Becker is a comparative cultures and politics senior. Reach him at becker76@msu.edu.

Discussion

Share and discuss “How to maintain long-distance relationships” on social media.