Single ladies (or gentlemen) looking to celebrate the female body can catch a performance of the Vagina Monologues at 8 p.m. Friday and 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday at the Fairchild Theatre.

The performance strives to empower women through true tales of comedy, anger and tragedy, and a majority of the proceeds go Eve Inc., a women’s shelter in Lansing. Tickets are $11 for MSU students and $15 for the general public.

Aimed at celebrating all that sucks about love and Valentine’s Day, the Spartan Dischords are presenting “Love Stinks” at 7:30 p.m. tonight at Wharton Center’s Pasant Theatre. The group will sing four new songs as well as some old favorites related to love and relationships.

“A lot of us have had bad relationships in the past,” said physiology senior Peter Wilton, a member of the Spartan Dischords. “We’ve all had our trials and tribulations with love. It’s relatable to everybody.”

Tickets are $5 for students and $7.50 for the general public. Donations also will be collected to benefit Haitian relief efforts by the American Red Cross.

Tickets and more information are available through the Wharton Center Box Office at (517) 432-3000 or at whartoncenter.com.

For those singles looking to get out of the house and mingle with others looking to find love, consider hitting the town, where many restaurants and bars are treating singles to specials and discounts.

Rick’s American Cafe, 224 Abbot Road, will be hosting its annual singles party with no cover for ladies all night and doors opening at 8 p.m.

Looking to turn up the heat? Studio 1210, 1210 Turner St., in Lansing, is hosting “Burning Desires: An Afternoon of Love Poetry (Erotic and Otherwise)” at 1 p.m. Saturday. Now in its 18th year, the event will feature MC d’Amor Sal Paradise and several area poets.

“(We do this) to heat up an otherwise cold February,” said Sam Mills, who will be using the stage name MC d’Amor. “It’s enjoyable, it’s mostly local talent and it’s an interesting way to spend the day before Valentine’s Day.”

Donations of $5 at the door will benefit Old Town Lansing and the poets are being taken at the door. Chocolates and other romantic refreshments also will be provided.

For more information call (517) 290-3929 or visit oldtownarts.org.

To avoid this year’s Valentine’s Day festivities, think ahead to future years with palm readings, tarot cards, handwriting analyses and astrology readings. Sponsored by the University Activities Board, five psychics will be available from 9 p.m. to midnight Saturday at the International Center.

Take full advantage of the free event with a silly caricature of yourself and friends, henna hand painting and a dream catcher craft.

For more information, visit uabevents.com.

For those looking to stay home and avoid the love vibe altogether, renting a slasher flick with friends or going to a violent movie (“The Wolfman” just came out) might be a perfect solution.

Whether you stay inside the comfort of your own home or hit up the movie theater, this alternative also is wallet-friendly. Be sure to avoid anything that looks even remotely like a romantic comedy.

For the lovebirds

For the happy couple looking for new, unique or cheap options this Valentine’s Day, the sky is the limit — even on a budget. Here are some activities for couples to take advantage of while celebrating the day of affection.

If you’re looking for a nontraditional date idea to get closer to that special someone, try thinking outside the box.

The Hot House, 15810 S. U.S. Highway 27, in Lansing allows you to rent a private room with a hot tub, changing room and shower with some rooms including fire places and saunas.

Those interested are encouraged to call and reserve a room for $25 an hour or $40 for an hour for VIP.

“It’s a great place to come in on Valentine’s Day and spend time with someone and not go too far,” owner Al Patel said.

The hot tubs can fit any four to 10 people, depending on which room is rented, so larger groups are able to be accommodated as well.

To work off all of the Valentine’s Day chocolate treats, consider doing something active together. Munn Ice Arena will be holding a Valentine’s Day public skate from 4:30-7 p.m. Sunday.

There will be a live DJ taking requests from skaters, and assistant manager Steve Lantzy said he expects the skate to be busy with many couples.

“It’s something kind of different to do instead of dinner and a movie,” Lantzy said.

The cost is $5 for the public, $4 for MSU students, faculty and staff and $2 for skate rentals.

If you want to stay close to campus and treat yourselves to a night away from your roommates, try booking a room for Valentine’s Day at Kellogg Center where they offer a special rate for those that come to spend time together on the holiday.

If you book a room for Sunday evening, for $99, you get a deluxe room, two $10 breakfast vouchers for the State Room Restaurant, sparkling wine and gourmet chocolates.

The hotel is a close place to find luxury this weekend if you’re looking to spend some alone time with your special someone.

“It’s something we like to offer to our guests here at the Kellogg Center for those that want to enjoy campus and East Lansing and get a taste of hospitality at the Kellogg Center,” reservations manager Debbie Haynie said.

If you want to be romantic on a budget, surprise your sweetie with breakfast or brunch in bed. For less than $15, you can make a simple — yet delicious — meal.

Toast frozen waffles, dress them up with strawberries and whipped cream, grab your favorite breakfast drink, arrange this on a tray and present your homemade meal with a rose.

Embrace the winter weather and spend time together outdoors at Frost Fest will be on South Washington Square and Adado Riverfront Park in downtown Lansing from 1-5 p.m.

Saturday will have various activities, including snowman building, said Sara Pawloski, Lansing Principal Shopping District’s communications and marketing manager.

“For outdoorsy people, there will be a rail-jam snowboarding contest,” she said.

There also will be a Michigan Brewing Company beer tent from 7-11 p.m. The entry fee is $10 and includes a glass mug and one drink.

For more information, visit lansing.org.

Spend time with the person you love in an ultimate relaxation experience.

Either stay home and treat each other to massages and relaxing incense, or you can visit one of several establishments offering couples massages including Massage & Wellness, 201 E. Grand River Ave.

Guests will be treated for the holiday of love with sparkling champagne and chocolates, and students can get an hour-long couple’s massage for $110.

The masseuse specialists will treat your body and accommodate each guest by paying attention to each individual’s needs.

“Massage is a good way to enjoy time together by experiencing a relaxing worry-free hour together,” owner Alan Glanz said.