Let me break it down for you. Bridesmaid = bride’s assistant.

Of course, being related to Margaret naturally increased the load of duties for me and my two other sisters compared to the other bridesmaids.

I helped plan and execute a bridesmaid shower and bachelorette party.

I attended a total of four showers (one for each respective social group in her life), balanced with my full-time summer job and vacations.

I know you’re thinking — “woe is me” — but showers have never really been my thing. It’s a party involving chicken salad, polite, yet extremely awkward conversation and presents worth more than my car presented by friends or relatives you barely know.

Good thing there was alcoholic punch.

Now, as we’re on the last stretch before the wedding, our responsibilities increase. My sister left nothing to chance. One bridesmaid is bringing mimosas, another is in charge of breakfast and another has to cart around the emergency kit, complete with hairspray, baby wipes, bobby pins and super glue.

My task? Pep talk. I don’t look at this as a task so much as a privilege. While other people know Margaret, I know how to counteract her stress, worries and sometimes drunken tears. So when the day of madness (I mean excitement and joy) begins, I am there to keep her focused on relaxing and enjoying the ride.

The bride retains the right to look the best at her wedding. Word of advice: Don’t wear a white dress to a wedding. You’re stomping on her parade.

Being a bridesmaid, I also retain the right to look good. Trotting down an aisle, smiling for thousands of pictures and making a speech means I’ll also have a few dozen pairs of eyes on me.

While I was home a few days ago, I tried on my bridesmaid dress again — a cranberry, tea-length strapless number. Knowing I was going to be in front of 250 people in this garb caused a brief freak-out. The bust was too big (not mine, the dress’) and I felt like my 5-foot-4-inch figure looked stumpy, like wearing flood pants that are supposed to be capris.

Luckily for me, my mom put on her home ec teacher hat and is altering it this week.

While I’m excited to fulfill the role of bride assistant, I’ll be relieved when I can just partake in the buffet, full bar and dancing on Friday night. Because by that point, if Margaret spills red wine on her dress — which is inevitable — or her hair falls out, she won’t care anymore because by that time, she’ll be a Mrs.

Kate Polesnak is the State News food and fitness reporter. She can be reached at polesna1@msu.edu.