Jessica Gray and her son Diego bond over sidewalk chalk and bubbles.

Like most 2-year-olds, Gray said, Diego loves trains, books and especially miniature cars.

Although Diego is a well-adjusted child, two years ago, Gray wasn't sure if her son would even like her.

Gray and her husband, Bruce, of Dimondale, adopted Diego from Guatemala in 2005.

"He was around 10 months when we brought him home, so we knew his personality was already developing," she said. "It was a major concern."

Although celebrities such as Angelina Jolie make it look easy, the process to adopt internationally was hard for Gray — it took more than a year to find and bring home Diego.

Even after dealing with a countless amount of paperwork and deadlines, Gray said she knew she had made the right choice to adopt.

"When I was first e-mailed Diego's picture, in my heart, I knew he was our son," she said. "To be able to say that I'm a mom — there's nothing greater in the world."

Making it happen

After the decision has been made to adopt, either domestically or internationally, the hardest part for most parents is the wait, said Kris Burow, a social worker for the state.

It usually takes about three or four months to send in the paperwork, and then the family has to wait for a response and clearance from the adoptee's country, Burow said.

"At first, the parents usually complain about the paperwork being overwhelming," she said.

The wait for Chinese children is a year and a half or more because the country has strict regulations, but in a Russian adoption, a parent can expect to be home with their child in six to eight months. The wait can be discouraging for potential parents, Burow said.

"Once the parents get the referral and know about their child, they want them in their home right away," she said. "It's hard for them to wait to follow through with the whole legal process."

When Gray's adoption agency gave her timelines to monitor her progress, she became frustrated because they didn't reflect the time it took her to complete the steps.

"When we reached that day of deadline, to know that it would still continue on for another couple weeks was really stressful," she said.

For Nikki Case, this summer will mark the one-year anniversary of the time she and her husband, Rob, started process of domestic adoption.

Case said she told her parents at age 6 that she was going to adopt. When she and her husband actually made the decision to go through with the process, she said many family members and friends questioned why, especially because she is able to have children.

"We have had to explain ourselves and tell people that this is something we really want," she said. "You have to educate people. It doesn't mean you go to the hospital and pick up a baby. If it is that easy, we wouldn't be waiting so long already."

The waiting, although difficult, paid off for the Cases, who adopted a girl on March 26.

"The waiting is what's really hard," she said. "We have wrapped our lives around it. I have never taken a phone into a bathroom until now. At the movies, we put our phones on vibrate and sat in the aisle in case it rang."

There are more requirements in international adoption than in the past because of more immigration requirements, increasing the time potential parents have to wait.

Each country has its own regulations and processes, such as requiring reference letters, statements about health, and birth and marriage certificates, Burow said. The adoption process is constantly changing, which helps protect children against issues such as child trafficking.

"Even while a family is in the process, the country could request another document, so we would have to get that as well and send it over," she said.

Working out the issues

Grant Jin Soo Vella has been to South Korea more than once.

He wants to go back again this summer because he never found what he was looking for during the first few trips — his birth parents.

The general business administration freshman was adopted from Suwon, South Korea, when he was 3. He said his adjustment was smooth, but curiosity still looms about his past.

"The connection with my (adoptive) parents is strong," said Vella, who lives in Troy. "But not as strong as with a normal parent. I want to know how my parents' lives are back in Korea."

Adoption issues often continue throughout a person's life, depending on the age and developmental stage that the child or adult adoptee is in, said Kathy Yates, the adoption program manager for St. Vincent Catholic Charities in Lansing.

"There are additional issues that adopted children have to deal with, especially if they have suffered loss or have dealt with abuse and neglect," Yates said.

Adoptive parents of international children have to educate and support the child in their heritage, Burow said.

"We encourage them to provide same-race role models," she said. "We also try to bring them together with other families of adoptive children from the culture."

For the most part, Burow said children do very well in adjusting.

As soon as Diego gets older, Gray said she hopes to take him back to Guatemala to see where he came from and what his culture is.

"We want him to feel good about where he came from," she said.

Vella doesn't remember anything about being in South Korea, and said he doesn't think he had any difficulty being introduced into the United States.

The only issues he's experiencing are happening now, as he plans to search for his birth parents. But for Vella, working at Family Adoption Consultants in Utica — the agency he was adopted through — is one of the things that has prepared him for the processes he will have to go through to find them.

Even after he completes the necessary paperwork and communicates with the adoption agency in South Korea, Vella said there is still a chance he will be unable to locate his birth parents.

But after he turned 18, he was convinced it was something he wanted to do.

"I've always had the intention to find out who my birth parents are," he said. "I've just never had the courage to do it until now."

Building a future

The positive thing about celebrities like Jolie publicizing their adoptions is that they have raised the awareness of the need for good parents, Burow said.

"There are thousands of children across the world that need loving homes — and we can bring them into this country," she said.

Adoption is an equally great way to have a family, Gray said, although she doesn't think she and her husband have any more adoptions planned for the near future.

"The whole process really raised my personal level of stress," she said. "I took it really hard. Although if the adoption agency told me there was a little girl, I don't think I could say no."