Sure, Bradley's kind of an obscure opponent. But the Braves are nothing compared to some of the teams MSU used to play. Back around the turn of the century, it seems the Spartans would play any five people who had sneakers. Don't believe me? Here are some actual opponents in MSU men's basketball history:
Bay City YMCA (1905): Actually, the Spartans have played almost a dozen different YMCAs, from Owosso to Chicago. I wonder why they don't do that anymore. Maybe that Village People song stripped YMCA of its amateur eligibility.
Michigan School for the Deaf (1906): Helen Keller had 15 points before being ejected for making obscene sign language at a referee.
AC Spark Plug (1919): The first 1,000 fans in attendance got a free oil change — at halftime.
Alger Country Club (1920): "Buffy, would you grab my clubs and bring the car around, please? I want to get a quick nine in before our hoops match with those young college lads."
Ishpeming American Legion (1920): The Spartans actually lost this game, but to be fair, they were coming off a grueling game against the Ypsilanti Elks Club.
Gwinn Club (1920): I didn't know Tony Gwynn had a fan club back then, but I guess they liked basketball.
Michigan College of Mines (1920): Forget Ford Field — this game was played 5,000 feet underground with a ball made of coal.
How's that for novelty? But that wasn't even the biggest news of the day — controversy raged before the game when an MSU cheerleader was caught having sex with a miner.
Upper Canada Law (1924): "Hey, you done with all your law school homework?"
"You bet, you hoser!"
"Want to go play some hoops then?"
"Sure. Should pass the time till hockey season, eh?"
Geneva (1937): Little-known historical fact: A controversial one-point MSU win in this game was what actually prompted the Geneva Convention.
Dearborn Naval Air Base (1943): Talk about getting called into active duty.
Hawaiian Army and Hawaiian Marines (1965): Strangely, this game occurred on the biggest day of crime in Hawaiian history. Probably no correlation there.
Tom Keller is the State News sports editor. He can be reached at kellert1@msu.edu.
