(Sigh) … ahhh, "Little Man." If you were to put together a list of the worst ideas for a movie in the past two decades, green-lighting a project with Marlon Wayans' face transposed on baby-like bodies might rank pretty high.
The Wayans brothers have really outdone themselves this time.
In case you and your friends become delirious (or bored, or drunk) enough to consider paying $9 to see the little bugger, lets get a few things out of the way right off the bat.
Yes, "Little Man" is bad. The acting is poor, the jokes are awkward, the script is predictable and the plot is stupid. In fact, the entire film is so senselessly filled with stupidity that I actually found myself re-reading the "PULL" sign on the way out of the theater, after which I made the decision to push. My IQ is still recovering.
"Little Man" follows the whimsical story line of Calvin (Marlon Wayans), a vertically challenged thief who was recently released from prison in search of a new score with his dim-witted partner, Percy (Tracy Morgan), as the stereotypical idiot sidekick who mysteriously manages to screw everything up at all the right moments. When the two botch a big time jewel heist, the diamond ends up with an airheaded wannabe daddy, Darryl (Shawn Wayans) and his cookie-cutter controlling "black and powerful" businesswoman wife Vanessa (Kerry Washington). Hooray for overused character devices.
Here is what you might not expect from "Little Man," because in spite of the film's almost unfathomable affinity for the absurd and a script that reads like it was scribbled on the back of a children's menu at Ruby Tuesday with a red crayon — hilarity really does ensue. It's bad, but not only is it not nearly as bad as you think, the little guy surprisingly has a few laugh-out-loud moments stashed in his diaper.
If you go in expecting a showcase of brilliant comedy, you should know better. This is pure Keenen Ivory Wayans' shtick. No unnecessary complexity or convoluted rational plot — just a half hour of fart, pee and poop jokes, lewd sexual innuendoes, silly out-of-place parody, nonsensical scenarios and completely vacant continuity. If you've seen "White Chicks" or "Scary Movie," you know exactly what to expect.
The thing to keep in mind when seeing a Wayans' movie is the films always exist in this sort of parallel universe. The plot is written in a way that it acutely acknowledges being utterly nonsensical and stupid.
The one thing that is really impossible to ignore is the fact that the whole "man baby" thing never makes sense during one scene in the entire movie. From the time Calvin is adopted, to when he gets treated by a doctor, to even when any of the other characters in the movie meet him, the whole thing just stinks with the haze of certain absurdity.
You mean to tell me you actually think that thing is a baby? C'mon Keenen. At some point, especially for moviegoers who have trouble with pseudo-realistic conceptualism, it's too much.
However, the real problems with the movie are not in its structure but in the content itself. The jokes are bad. The movie has uninteresting one-liners and gimmicky, overdone, slapstick humor we've all seen since birth.
If you take out the bathtub farting scene, the montage of Shawn Wayans getting hit in his private parts with toys, Marlon Wayans getting urinated on, Marlon Wayans soiling himself, scenes with Shawn Wayans getting hit in the face, the car chase, Shawn Wayans getting urinated on, Marlon Wayans slapping Morgan and any scene involving the stereotypical Italian Mafia as "the bad guys," the movie is about 45 minutes long. Really now, can't we get a little more original?
It's too bad that the peripheral stuff like the jokes and acting isn't stronger because the situational concept is surprisingly hilarious at times. By far the funniest thing and possibly the one redeeming quality of the movie is seeing Marlon Wayans as what really looks like a little toddler doing adult things like drinking, playing dice and stomping out people three times his size.
Marlon Wayans' facial expressions also really heighten the silliness. Sometimes just seeing the little guy mosey around with Marlon Wayans' face poorly transposed on that tiny body is enough for a fit of laughter. Something about seeing a baby making adult faces and giving adult gestures in a bunny-eared pajama outfit is just inherently funny. But it's not enough to save the poor acting and awful writing.
You might be disgusted by the crudeness, you could be offended by the jokes, you should be dumbfounded by the stupidity and you probably will be angry that you spent some of your paycheck to see it, but if there's anything to say about "Little Man," you won't be completely bored. You might even laugh a few times — just don't expect much more.
