Hot bodies in tight-fitting costumes.
All kinds of particle-splitting death.
And a whole lot of destruction from San Francisco to the untamed woods.
But what else would you expect from the new X-Men film — "X-Men: The Last Stand."
In any case, there were a couple of differences between the latest film and the first two X-Men big-screeners — new cast members, a new director, an increase in swearing, shorter running time and a bit more goofy banter among mutants.
The main two additions to the mutant crew are Beast/Dr. Hank McCoy (Kelsey Grammer), and Juggernaut/Cain Marko (Vinnie Jones).
Both characters add a level of harmlessly eccentric humor to the overall feel of the fantastic film that was absent in the previous two.
Basically, if you enjoy silly one-liners, then these characters will escalate your enjoyment of the film. But if you're going into the new "X-Men" movie purely to dwell on the serious bits, battle scenes and beautiful people, the newfound humor doesn't distract from the explosive plot.
And Grammer was a dead-on perfect choice for the character of Beast.
Viewers who are into the comic books or were fans of the cartoon will be pleased with Grammer's performance. He's intellectual, silly, hairy, blue and even kicks some butt when the evil mutants get extra evil with their superpowers.
As for the new director, Brett Ratner — rather than Bryan Singer, who did the first two — there is not a lot of difference in technique.
There's still the sharp contrast between ear-splitting battle scenes and quiet conversation. The camera angles still fly around, and all of the mutants still look like they've spent some quality time with the makeup artist.
The most shocking detail — besides Mystique/Raven Darkholme (Rebecca Romijn) lying completely nude in the bed of a semitruck— is the swearing that takes place. The bad words are really out of place, awkward and unnecessary.
Why not eliminate any sort of swearing, unless there's some sort of new mutant that can tell off people really well — like The Obscene Jerk Boy? As it stands, the screenwriter just comes across as lazy with the profanity.
The acting performances are solid across the board. But again, Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier and Ian McKellen as Magneto/Eric Lensherr are the shining stars in the comic-book constellation.
Both of these guys have been trained in the Shakespearean style and are just extremely convincing and engaging. To see them in scenes together is something along the lines of hearing Jimi Hendrix jamming with Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page.
The only thing that could make the scenes between these two acting giants better is if William Shatner, also Shakespearean-trained, were written in as a fellow mutant. The only downfall would be that with two former Star Trek captains and Gandalf in a scene together in an X-Men film, a massive explosion of geek brains all over the world is likely.
And although this is supposedly "The Last Stand," McKellen is already signed up for a film entitled, "Magneto." Yes, there is a lot of mutant death in "The Last Stand" — don't worry, I won't tell which ones — but there are still plenty of ways they can continue the films.
Plus, mutants/superheroes are always dying and coming back to life — so don't worry if one of your favorite characters dies. There's hope for a mutant reawakening.
As long as brilliant actors keep playing the parts of the mutants, additional films will be welcomed and enjoyed.
As for "The Last Stand," it did the comic book justice and was action-packed, while still holding on to a tight plot. If you like the first two films, then the third one will also be marvelously entertaining.
