• French golfer Jean Van de Velde will attempt to enter next year's Women's British Open because he is upset women might qualify for the 2006 British Open.
In a related story, the Pistons will attempt to get Darko Milicic a spot on the Detroit Shock this season because they're upset he averages infinity fouls per 48 minutes.
• A judge sided with high school civics teacher and Tampa Bay Buccaneers season-ticket holder Gordon Johnston that security pat-downs at the team's stadium violated individual liberties.
"I'd say it's humiliating," Johnston said. "If I did that to my students, do you know what would happen to me?"
No, Gordon, we're not sure what would happen. But we're guessing you could get your own reality show on Fox for it.
• The MSU ice hockey team beat up on the U.S. National Under-18 Team, 5-2, in an exhibition game last Tuesday.
Way to go, guys. Kick 'em while they're still going through puberty.
• Tom Izzo got another commitment last week, this one from 7-foot Flint center Tom Herzog.
Scouts say he's got good touch around the basket, but there's a more important question we need answered: can he kick?
• Don't give up hope on the Spartans' football team just yet, though. They could still win the NFC North.
