Memorial Day has taken on a new form of observance for one Lansing woman.
Neighbors stopped by Apolonia Rosas' home Monday to place American flags and flowers on her lawn to pay respect to her 21-year-old son, Pfc. Richard Rosas, who was killed last May in Fallujah by a roadside bomb.
"My Memorial Days usually involved our family camping and fishing in Traverse City," Rosas said. "Now I am spending it memorializing my son, a fallen solider."
Rosas' daughters also spent the holiday observing their brother's death.
"I feel like I am punishing the rest of my family by not continuing our normal holiday activities, but it's just so hard to participate in our regular activities since he died," Rosas said.
Pfc. Richard Rosas joined the service in September 2002 and was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 62nd Air Defense Artillery in Ft. Drum, N.Y.
Since her son's death, Rosas said she has gradually learned to move on.
"One thing I have learned, and must continue to learn, is to live without him physically," she said.
The day before his death, Rosas said her son had called twice, and she missed both calls.
"For the last 12 months, I was trying to find ways to punish myself," she said.
Rosas said she did not leave the house the first few months after her son's death and only left to pay shut-off notices from gas and electric companies.
"This one-year anniversary is where I now must begin to move on without my son," she said.
Rosas said this Memorial Day was not only a day to honor her son and other fallen soldiers but to honor soldiers who are still in Iraq fighting for America.
Wendy Day, president of the Lansing Family Readiness Group, which aids military families, also said her view of Memorial Day has changed and continues to change with time.
"When you have a loved one overseas, you see holidays like this a bit different," she said. "With my husband overseas, it has definitely increased my patriotism."
Day's husband, 1st Sgt. Kevin Day, left for Iraq in October. The Guard unit has been in Iraq since January and is scheduled for a one-year deployment. The unit trains and mentors Iraqi police.
Wendy Day said soldiers are in Iraq are fighting for our freedom, but English graduate student Greg Wright says our reasons for being in Iraq are not related to freedom issues.
"I am against the politics behind going to war and really don't see how us being over in Iraq is benefiting our country," he said. "It's starting to become Vietnam situation."
But Wendy Day doesn't take anti-war criticism lightly.
"I have a hard time stomaching people ripping on President Bush about the war," she said. "I have been criticized because my husband is over there, but I'll be darned if this becomes another Vietnam where our soldiers are spat on."
Vietnam war veteran John Potter, 57, agrees.
"I lost one of my best friends in Vietnam, and sometimes it makes me upset that people are still disrespecting soldiers," he said. "Like then in Vietnam, and in Iraq, we are just doing our jobs."
Rosas said there will always be wars because without them there would be no freedom. She also said with these wars it is inevitable that someone will die.
"When I was 9, I lost my brother in Vietnam and didn't understand my mother's heartache," Rosas said. "With every war a mother must cry, and this is my time.
"Sometimes I would find myself closing my eyes, and when I opened them, hope to just catch a glimpse of my son."
Jason Worthy can be reached at worthyj1@msu.edu.
