Erin Ruth calls it "a dark, dark time" in her life.
It was her senior year of high school. She was hiding her 5-foot, 85-pound body under baggy clothes. She was stressed about going away to college, and she wasn't eating.
Then she stepped out of the shower.
When her mom saw her bones peeking through her skin, Ruth began a long road to recovery from anorexia nervosa through a hospital stay, ongoing outpatient visits and rebuilding her relationship with food.
"I consider myself an average student," the nutritional science senior said. "If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody - your sister, your best friend.
Today, Ruth is the president of the MSU student group RUBI, or Respecting and Understanding Body Image.
Ruth said she is devoted to creating a "safe space" for students at the group's monthly meetings and a society where personality is valued more than appearance. The group meets the first Monday of the month at 8 p.m. in various places around campus.
"The feeling in the room is amazing," she said. "They're women who've dealt with eating disorders, through themselves or friends or family, or people who just don't like the way society treats body image."
RUBI deemed this week Eating Disorder Awareness Week at MSU, distributing Twix bars, magnets and positive messages across campus.
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, more than 90 percent of college women attempt to control their weight through dieting, and 35 percent of normal dieters progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20 to 25 percent advance to partial or full eating disorders.
Women with eating disorders also might let their fears sneak into the bedroom, Olin Health Center nutritionist Ronda Bokram said.
"You're just not going to have as much fun," she said. "You might need to be in the dark or wear something or not let him touch you somewhere.
"You're really going to limit yourself."
And it might affect sexual health, Bokram said.
"You might do unsafe sex practices because you're afraid to speak up," she said. "You might settle for something less because you don't think you deserve more."
The media is constantly perpetuating unrealistic standards for both women and men's bodies, Bokram said - particularly through advertisements.
Advertising Professor Bruce Vanden Bergh said the course Advertising and Society, in the MSU Department of Advertising, is devoted to exploring social responsibility in the field.
"We're in an American society, and we have a social responsibility to all people. You can't run an ad on TV and then block out children, or block out certain groups from seeing it."
But, he said, it's hard to balance the social responsibility in the competitive, fast-moving field.
"You're trapped a little bit," he said. "It's about grabbing people's attention, saying we're hip, we're current, we're beautiful. You've gotta say it visually, and you gotta say it fast.
"It's about making money."
Vanden Bergh said to look only at quick fixes and ignore the deeper issues is lazy advertising.
"Hopefully, some advertisers out there think we can put in some effort and do good advertising and tasteful advertising at the same time," he said.
Despite the recognition given to the problem, Vanden Bergh said he sees advertising moving in sexier, more scandalous directions.
"Once you've done something, you have to top it," he said. "It's getting edgier."
The advertising industry makes billions of dollars selling sexual images, and weight-loss markets do the same by helping people achieve that perfect body.
In a nation where obesity is a nationwide problem, walking the line between healthiness and weight obsession can be difficult.
Christine Winch, a Lansing-area coordinator for Weight Watchers, said the group places an emphasis on healthiness rather than numbers.
Weight Watchers has combined efforts with the American Cancer Society to hold the second annual Great American Weigh In at Weight Watchers locations in the area from Friday until March 7.
"This day is to get members of the community assessing their lifestyles and taking steps to become more healthy," Winch said.
At the weigh-in, Lansing area residents can have their body-mass index calculated, which takes weight, height and other factors into account in order to assess healthiness.
"We keep the focus on healthy lifestyles," Winch said. "We want people to get in touch with where they see themselves weight-wise, work with doctors and be healthy when they lose weight."
Tara May can be reached at maytara@msu.edu.
