The lack of support and morality shown in the opinion pages of The State News ("Bad Bush!" SN 1/22) makes me weep bitter tears of fear every night as I try to sleep, and nothing disturbs me more than those immoral heathens who would try to do away with traditional marriage.
In President Bush's State of the Union address, he specifically called for an end to the threats against the moral and religious values that we all hold and which cannot be refuted (Christian values are obviously the only valid ones, that's why there aren't any other religions, right?).
I would like to issue a call to arms to all my fellow Christian brothers and sisters, for our very ways of life are under assault. It goes against the American spirit to change the way things are (that's why our Constitution has stayed the same for 200-plus years, right?) and this is especially true of marriage, an institution which is wholly religious and not in the least bit secular or governmental (that's why only Christian Southern Baptist ministers can perform marriages, right?).
The abandonment of traditional marriage values is an assault on all our unilaterally held Christian values, not an attempt to move sodomites from their status as second-class citizens.
While I applaud Bush's attempts to defend our traditional values, I do not believe he goes far enough by simply seeking to constitutionally ban gay marriages. We should return to our truly traditional marriages, for anything else would be inviting the divine retribution of God himself.
Firstly, all marriages should be arranged. They should only be between people of the same race and economic class (What a mistake the Civil Rights Movement was. Why, my grandfather fought against interracial marriages just the same way I'm fighting against homosexual marriages).
A dowry should always be offered by the woman's family, preferably in the form of livestock. Arranged marriages should happen early in a child's life, around the age of 13 or 14, and no heed should be paid to any disparity in ages (that just wouldn't be tradition).
The only upright and righteous thing to do is to support George Bush and his holy amendment to the United States Constitution.
And remember guys, it's not rape if you're married.
Nathan Thompson
East Asian languages and cultures and journalism senior
