In the early morning hours of Sept. 12, Norm Sauer gazed out the window of a New York-bound military plane as dozens of questions and concerns reeled through his head.

The MSU anthropology professor joined thousands of Americans who drove and flew to New York, Washington and Pennsylvania in the wake of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks to aid recovery efforts.

“On the way there, I kept thinking, ‘What am I getting myself into?’” Sauer said. “It was daunting to think that I would be going to this place of disaster.”

During the next several weeks, Sauer and a team of forensic anthropologists worked around the clock to identify victims’ bodies in New York and Pennsylvania. “In one sense, I’m used to it,” said Sauer, who is the director of the MSU forensic anthropology laboratory and has made a career out of identifying the dead.

This time, Sauer said, “The hard part was the magnitude. There was such incredible chaos and a complete destruction of humanity.” l Instead of focusing on the pain and sorrow around him, Sauer threw his energy into the job at hand. A year after returning to Michigan - out of respect for the victims - he won’t discuss what he witnessed at the sites.

While he was away, Sauer spoke to his family every day to reassure them of his safety. But the familiar voices on the other end of the line mostly provided him comfort.

Upon returning home, Sauer said his wife described him as “distant for a few weeks.”

“It was difficult for me to get back to my old routine,” he said. “To some extent, things that happened here seemed trivial.”

But, he realized, nothing is trivial.

“In one sense, I felt fortunate to be among those who could do something to help the people of America in this time of need,” Sauer said. “I did what I was trained to do - we all did.”

Kelly Sprinkle answered his own call of duty Sept. 11.

The campus minister for The People’s Church experienced a personal loss on Sept. 11 but focused his energies into providing a spiritual outlet for students that day. Sprinkle said he wished to keep his loss private.

Sprinkle joined several colleagues in planning an interreligious church service where mourners could sit in silence, gather their thoughts, cry and pray. He also worked to create a sermon about forgiveness and comfort for the following Sunday’s services.

Because his life and the lives of others did not stop after the terrorist attacks, Sprinkle said the initial pain was set aside for many, and with the arrival of the one-year anniversary, many people might be beginning to deal with the issues they’ve ignored.

He said he has learned to give himself the time to heal.

“The media blitz that’s coming will probably generate some areas of pain,” he said. “When I see buildings crashing or the rescue sites, I try to step away and not pay attention. I don’t want to deal with it on that level.”

He said it is important for people to realize that they should not address pain by hurting others, but by finding healthy outlets and searching for hope.

“I think it’s good to deal with feelings in a constructive way,” he said. “I got to put my own feelings and frustration out in public through my sermons. I know there are times when my voice cracked, but it shows that I’m thinking about these things and that we’re in this together.

“We all deal with grief differently and in our own ways.”

And some people find it easier to grieve in silence. One MSU student who lost a family member said the media attention he received from his loss kept the wounds too fresh in his mind. He wanted life to return to normal - without constant attention. Others mirrored his request, saying they preferred to deal with their pain alone.

Charlene Patterson, MSU Counseling Center associate director, said it is common to avoid attention related to grief.

“A lot of it has to do with people feeling a need to not retraumatize themselves,” Patterson said. “An essential part of healing is to mourn the losses and take in the experience to the point of acceptance so you can move on.”

She said the feeling of reaching resolution is an important part of the post-Sept. 11 grieving process.

“It was traumatizing for all of us,” she said. “I think most people are not wishing to recreate that trauma.”

And, she said, some people are just beginning to deal with their pain.

“Many times, when losses are so tragic, there is a sense of shock and denial,” Patterson said. “Putting that in the perspective of accepting the reality is difficult. It often takes a long time to address.”

James Madison College Dean Sherman Garnett said every person was impacted by the attacks in some way.

“Over the last year, we’ve gotten a wide range of reactions because people were at different distances,” said Garnett, who worked at the Pentagon for 16 years before joining MSU. His Pentagon office was demolished by the terrorists who hijacked American Airlines Flight 77, but he didn’t lose any friends in the attacks.

Garnett cleared his throat and pointed to a photo of himself and his colleagues standing outside the Pentagon: “That’s right where the plane crashed. That whole side of the building was smashed in.”

He said the events helped him become more realistic about America’s vulnerability.

“I realized maybe I was too complacent about how safe we were,” he said. “Many of us have reconfirmed our views that we need to learn more about the world.”

He said the world is shrinking and with this comes both positive and negative implications; the events of Sept. 11 were an ugly reminder of America’s relationship with the world.

“This was a set of people who came to hate us enough to fly jet airplanes into buildings and blow themselves up - it’s definitely an attention getter,” Garnett said.

He said he considers himself extremely fortunate because his losses were only steel and concrete. But regardless of one’s level of personal involvement, no American can forget this day, he said.

“For those of us who are not as directly affected, it’s a not a matter of how we’re doing as of what we should be doing,” Garnett said. “We ought to be thinking more about our inner connections and even our vulnerabilities in the world - trying to understand where they arise.”