All right, before I dig into the sentimental saccharine-fest that is “The Rookie,” I’m first going to dig on Joel Siegel. As film fans know, Siegel is the entertainment editor on the ABC morning “news” program “Good Morning America.”
Siegel also is notoriously nice with his reviews, especially if that film is a Disney film, which “The Rookie” just happens to be. Now, Siegel obviously is what we critics call a “quote-whore,” someone who gives nice little sound bites for the movie posters we all see plastered everywhere. But to say that Disney is doing the great work Siegel says it is, all the time? Hmmm ... why could that be? Wait a minute, ABC is owned by Disney! Maybe that’s why, in his eyes, “The Rookie” is a “great family film” and that “there won’t be a dry eye in the house.”
But before anyone starts saying that I’m just jealous that I don’t get to be on television or that I’m angry because he wears nice suits and I’m two steps away from selling plasma to make rent, I gotta tell you - “The Rookie” is nothing we haven’t seen before. Take “Field of Dreams” wrapped up with “Rudy” and add some of that Disney “magic,” or whatever you call it, and you’ve got a tooth-rotting experience that even overstays its welcome by about 45 minutes.
The movie is about a 35-year-old guy named Jimmy Morris, played by Dennis Quaid. I will give props to Quaid - it’s next to impossible not to like the guy, and he does as well with the role as can be expected. And the story is even based on a true one, in which an aging man who was injured when first attempting to play professional baseball makes a return to the big leagues years later, stronger than ever.
But the movie’s makers can’t help but add every manipulative twist in the book. First you’ve got how he goes back in the first place - the kids on the team he coaches pull out a winning season as part of a deal to get him to try out again. Then there’s his wife, who upon hearing his goals first thinks, “Well, dreams don’t buy food or clothes for our three kids.” Then, 10 minutes later, she tells him to do it.
Overcoming obstacles to obtain a dream is one thing, but to leave your family is completely another. In a conversation with his wife, Morris finds out the bills are piling up, but we never see the struggle at home - only on the field. And we never see any character flaws within Jimmy.
He comes off as a perfect guy, even trying to make amends with the father who ignored him for so long. Quaid manages to pull off the conflicting emotions a man in that situation must feel well, despite being glossed over in the script.
And I can’t really say that the movie isn’t well-made - it’s textbook, middle-of-the-road perfect, like so many other Disney movies before it. And that may be well and good for many moviegoers, I’m sure.
But as a moviegoer, when I invest more than two hours into a movie, there better be more than just brain candy ahead - show me more than the inevitable moment of big-league glory that we all know is coming. Show me the conflicts that make the man go on, the family turmoil that ensues when a 35-year-old leaves for months to chase his dreams. Walking into a baseball movie, we all know how it’s going to end. It’s the journey that we pay our money for, and with “The Rookie,” that trip is as boring as a Nebraska highway.
