As I look back on this school year, I’m pleased with my experiences and the activities I’ve been part of. But I also look back and see events on this campus that embarrass me.

I’m angry - and I’m tired of it.

This university’s administration has succeeded in not only talking itself into a web of lies, but trying to cover up those lies with - guess what? - more lies.

Discussing the infiltration of Students for Economic Justice has become part of my daily life, not just on the job but also at home with my friends. The more ideas I gather and the more information I learn, the more I am convinced this was politically motivated.

You can shake your head all you want, but there is no denying MSU President M. Peter McPherson does have strong ties to the World Bank and several other international aid organizations.

But beyond that, the story doesn’t add up. Even the most naive people understand there are holes in the story.

I could start with the inconsistencies. I could write about the constantly changing timeline. We could talk about an ongoing investigation without a paper trail. We could figure out the intricacies of McPherson’s ties to the World Bank.

But we won’t, because regardless of any of this, the administration is painfully aware it screwed up badly. There are many aspects of the investigation it is not telling us - and we all know it.

The administration was so unsuccessful at convincing us of its motives, it had to give us several different excuses. It has been acting like a small child, piling excuse after excuse on us, as though we are going to change our minds.

It has the false impression that suddenly, after the 10th or 11th excuse, we’re going to march to the Administration Building and scream toward McPherson’s office, “Oh, we get it now! You infiltrated a student group for a perfectly acceptable reason!”

Or five, as it’s been telling us.

Instead of explaining to us the truth immediately, the administration danced around the issue and slowly gave us information.

Its failure to act in a mature fashion with this issue and explain it to us fully has hurt my feelings. I know I sound like a child now, but that’s essentially what the infiltration did to a lot of us. I feel upset, disrespected and trivial.

Worse, I don’t know if the administration has fully realized the extent of these feelings. It’s hard enough to trust people in power, but I can usually understand the motivation behind what they do. Now, I no longer even have much respect left for them.

And it’s not just that.

In March, the athletics department kicked off a search for the women who played varsity sports before 1980. Before that time, only men could letter in sports.

But if you really want to be irritated, it was in 1975 that women were recognized for playing varsity sports (thanks to Title IX), but it took our university five years to actually start giving them letters.

In 1982, a group of women - once MSU athletes - began working with the Varsity Alumni “S” Club, an association for those lettering at the university, to encourage female athletes to be given the letters they obviously deserve.

Here, in this “affirmative action, equal-opportunity institution” women were not awarded because they were not men - not because they didn’t work hard enough or weren’t as talented.

Wait, let’s go to MSU Athletics Director Clarence Underwood for his comments on the subject. “This is a tremendous opportunity for Michigan State University to recognize former female student-athletes who represented our institution over the years in a first-class manner,” he said in a written statement to The State News in March.

Hmm, yeah.

Maybe I’m out of line to question Underwood and his statement, but it seems he has contradicted himself.

In the summer of 1999, Underwood told The State News, “Women don’t usually go out for sports because they love the sport.” He went on to say, “Men go out for football, for example, because they love the game. Women go out for sports because of a scholarship.”

It sounds like the university has moved toward a better relationship with the other 50 percent of the population, doesn’t it?

Lettering former female athletes was brought up while many of us were small children; that means it took the university most of our lifetimes to decide women deserved letters, too.

There are other aspects of this university I am upset about, but these two incidents have left me scarred. The idealism I once felt for MSU has been shattered. I no longer expect the positive to happen.

It’s been a turbulent year for this school. We lost before hockey and basketball could make it to the championships and McPherson and his flunkies have embarrassed themselves and the university beyond belief.

This has been a tough semester. I only hope the administration has learned from these experiences like I have. The small piece of optimism left in me hopes it can improve relations with the students - and be reminded that we are the reason MSU exists.

Lindy O’Donnell, State News opinion editor, can be reached at odonne65@msu.edu.