Sex education must reflect real world

I found out recently that a girl who is a junior in my high school had a baby about a month ago. I’m sad to say this wasn’t shocking news for me. I mentioned the baby to a friend who was surprised; he said he didn’t know anyone from his high school who had ever been pregnant. I realized I can’t even name them all off the top of my head, and that is somewhat disturbing.

Gabrielle Moore

I’m not saying by any means that my hometown has an extremely high rate of teen pregnancy. I’m sure it’s probably about average. I’m not saying anything anyone does in my hometown in particular perpetuates teen pregnancy. But when it comes to teaching kids about sex, my hometown, and many other cities throughout the United States, made a mistake. That same mistake is still being made.

Abstinence-only sex education has to go.

It’s why hearing about pregnant teenagers doesn’t surprise me.

It’s why The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy reports the U.S. has the highest teen-pregnancy birthrate of any comparable country.

It’s why 750,000 U.S. teenagers are getting pregnant each year, and why the U.S. teen-pregnancy birth rate has increased for the second year in a row.

I came from a very Christian town. My friends and I grew up being told premarital sex was a sin and that was all we needed to know. The way I learned about sex was not from my parents or even from health class, but from friends who had older siblings that would teach them what they needed to know about the birds and the bees.

That’s how most teenagers learn about sex, because that’s usually the only way they have to learn about it. And to be honest, learning about sex from friends is not reliable. The last things teenagers are concerned with when talking about sex at the lunch table are condoms and birth control.

Because of this, when the time comes for these kids to become rebellious teenagers who are going to have premarital sex even though (or sometimes because) their parents told them not to, they usually aren’t safe. And that’s when they get pregnant.

I’ve never been a parent, and I admit I can’t understand how hard it must be for someone to talk to their child about having sex, or to send them to a class where they’ll be learning how to have it. I get it; nobody wants their kid to have sex.

But the fact is they are going to do it. I know this, and everyone else on MSU’s campus knows it. Parents and educators will realize, if they are truly honest with themselves, that they know it, too.

The fact that whether or not we should have abstinence-only sex education in schools has become a political issue is embarrassing. This should not be a debate, whether it is liberal vs. conservative, Christian vs. non-Christian or even right vs. wrong. This isn’t about whether or not teenagers should be having sex. Everyone is going to have their own opinions on that issue, and no amount of arguing will change it.

It’s about the fact that teen pregnancy is never a good thing. For 750,000 young women to face that reality each year is devastating.

I heard of at least a dozen girls who had babies during the four years I was in high school. I know one girl from my high school who had three abortions before she graduated. There’s no way to know how many other girls had abortions as well. Whether or not a girl goes through with her pregnancy will affect her for the rest of her life.

True, the direct cause of a girl getting pregnant is because she chose to have premarital sex. She could have listened to her parents and teachers and not have had sex, and then she wouldn’t be pregnant. But parents can’t just put chastity belts on their kids or lock them in their rooms. Teenagers are having sex and will continue to have sex. Whether or not it’s right doesn’t matter when a young couple wants to have sex, but never learned how to use a condom.

Parents and educators need to stop living a lie and admit teens are having and will continue to have premarital sex. Encouraging abstinence is fine, but only when coupled with no-holds-barred sex education, telling students everything they need to know so they can be safe, and teen pregnancy can be prevented.

Gabrielle Moore is a State News guest columnist and journalism freshman. Reach her at mooregab@msu.edu.