Dueling columns: MSU/Michigan football reporters face-off
Hart was right: MSU is U-M's 'little brother'
(Last updated: 10/23/08 11:11pm)“I was just laughing. I thought it was funny. They got excited. Sometimes you get your little brother excited when you’re playing basketball and you let him get the lead. Then you just come and take it back.”
Dan Feldman
- Mike Hart on Nov. 3, 2007
As much as you try to escape it, Hart has you all figured out, Michigan State. You can run from the truth all you want, but everything you do screams “little brother.”
You’re the little brother because the only comeback Mark Dantonio could think of was to call Hart short.
You’re the little brother because Chad Henne doesn’t rhyme with douche bag.
You’re the little brother because of Braylon Edwards.
You’re the little brother because football, not basketball, is America’s favorite college sport.
You’re the little brother because “your” biggest win last year was by a I-AA school.
You’re the little brother because John L. Smith slapped himself.
You’re the little brother because you planted a flag in South Bend, then fought Illinois for doing it to you.
You’re the little brother because SportsLine.com’s Dennis Dodd listed Michigan State coach Dantonio (along with coaches from Temple, Cincinnati and Brigham Young) before the season as “coaches who will soon have big-time jobs.”
You’re the little brother because you’re the lowest-rated school academically in the Big Ten.
You’re the little brother because you’re too dumb to care.
You’re the little brother because when your plans to copy the historic success of Michigan football went up in flames against Ohio State on Saturday, you (allegedly) tried to emulate the Wolverines’ (alleged) football player-on-hockey player violence.
You’re the little brother because you probably don’t know what emulate means.
You’re the little brother because your girls’ fake tans, sloppy blonde dye-jobs and low standards don’t mean they’re that hot.
You’re the little brother because you can’t be a great party school and charge $5 for a cup.
You’re the little brother because the University of Chicago has more Big Ten football titles than you do.
You’re the little brother because your inferiority complex is so big that “smash right through that line of blue” and “Michigan is weakening” were lines in your original fight song.
You’re the little brother because you had a clock counting down the seconds until the Michigan game months before the game time was decided.
You’re the little brother because after all the clock hype, you lost anyway.
You’re the little brother because rioting and couch burning are the highlights of your college years.
You’re the little brother because you don’t understand that jokes like “What does a Michigan State grad call a Michigan grad? Boss.” can’t be reversed, so you do it anyway.
You’re the little brother because you were giddy with your football team’s 7-6 record last season, which would have been the Wolverines’ worst in 23 years.
You’re the little brother because you’ve tried to replace a 111-year tradition of mediocrity with clips from “300.”
You’re the little brother because you take being favored against Michigan as a victory in itself.
You’re the little brother because, deep down, you know your annual collapse is just beginning.
You’re the little brother because six straight will become seven on Saturday.
Now, before you flood my inbox with poorly written letters, let’s take care of a couple likely complaints.
“But Michigan State is better at basketball.”
Like I wrote above — and I know you have trouble reading — football, not basketball, is America’s favorite college sport. Let me know when you get the 75,000 people who attend your football games to go to a basketball game, let alone the 110,000 that pack the Big House.
“I got into Michigan and Michigan State and chose Michigan State because it’s better.”
You’re lying.
Dan Feldman is a Michigan Daily sports editor. He can be reached at danfeld@umich.edu.
Originally Published: 10/23/08 10:44pm
















Dan C
10/24/08 12:29amWow… way to write an article with almost nothing to do with football, then get totally trashed by the opposing side’s article. Being the ‘little brother’ here, the other guy knew how to spell emulate before you knew how to read. Way to not even be bowl eligible this year too. Ouch, first time in what, like thirty-some years now? That hurts.
jp
10/24/08 1:27amDan F – “I got into Michigan and MSU and went to MSU because it is better?” and you’re calling that BS? Our supply chain, teaching, and packaging degrees (to name a few) are top in the nation.
and the “Big House” sucks. your stadium isn’t any bigger than ours, you just force your people to sit their butt cheeks at a 45 degree angle, therefore more people can fit.
jp
10/24/08 1:45amOh, the other thing I forgot to mention is that as an MSU alum, I am glad to not have Walmart fans with no affiliation wiht the univeristy talking smack on my behalf….U of M has these fans (who probably couldn’t get into a Applachian State or Toledo)…it sertainly is an interesting mixture of pompous trash!
Chris Hansen
10/24/08 2:28amI saw Dan Feldman on To Catch A Predator. I don’t like the way he says “little brother” all the time.
Proud Spartan
10/24/08 8:15amI already attacked this on the Michigan Daily site.
This is why I came to MSU instead of UM to pursue journalism!
IES
10/24/08 9:36amIf being the “big brother” means having to listen to childish stuff like this all the time, then I am proud to be the little brother. U of M has been crapping on MSU forever, even trying to keep them out of what is now the Big Ten conference for fear of a little in-state competition. That is where the lyrics to the fight song come from. You guys have always been jerks, and it appears will always be jerks.
Go Green!
urban-antro
10/24/08 10:02amU.S. News and World Report 2009 has MSU and Indiana ranked the same at 71st nationally
http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/college/national-search/c_final_tier+1/page+3
Jeff B
10/24/08 10:04amI guess “big sister” avoided talking about football altogether because there’s no football to speak of in Ann Arbor this year.
Jason
10/24/08 10:56amWe may be little brother in football, but in basketball, regardless of how it is regarded nationally, you know you care man…and to us, you are little bitches
Chad Henne does, in fact, rhyme with douchebag
10/24/08 11:54amMr. Feldman clearly learned his shit-talking skills in U of M’s “How to be Gay” class. (Not kidding, in the English department)
Jeff B
10/24/08 12:01pm“Let me know when you get the 75,000 people who attend your football games to go to a basketball game…”
We did that like five years ago. And we’re doing it again this year.
Jackie
10/24/08 12:09pmIt’s sad knowing that people at U of M still believe they are THAT much better than us. Looking down at a school that has quality people who go into jobs to HELP others vs. a school that just graduates to make a ton of money is all too ironic.
Here is my retaliation:
Mark Dantonio is a tough, program changing coach, and because he wouldn’t call your player anything “worse” than short is because he is classy.
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Erika
10/24/08 12:12pmI guess your current record is something all you whining babies would refer to as “a hoax.” Is that right…remember when you lost to a MAC team not too long ago; isn’t that something that the all mighty U of M is above? You’ve been outplayed and over rated…even the “Big Brother” falls down sometimes! Oh, and please stop using Braylon Edwards as one of your reasons to be better than Michigan State, he graduated…he no longer helps you, with your higher than average GPA’s I would have thought that’s something you would all be able to recognize.
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C. Henne
10/24/08 12:19pmDan Feldman rhymes with douchebag…
PM
10/24/08 12:53pmI thought we emulated Michigan perfectly last Saturday, didn’t we? Am I mistaken? Doesn’t Michigan usually lose to Ohio St.?
JS
10/24/08 1:01pmYou suck at writing because you fall back on a lazy repetitive shtick, “emulating” one of the greatest douche bags of all time, Mitch Albom.
Go suck a fat one. If I wanted to read your awful stories I’d go pick up the Daily.
Oh
10/24/08 1:03pmWhen did the Daily start employing retarded donkeys for sports writers?
stupid u of m
10/24/08 1:43pmWhen the sororites started turning them away for upstaging the current members
Dan Feldman = Lousy Journalist
10/24/08 2:02pmIs this really what passes for journalism at UofM? That’s sad. Instead of trying to write an inciteful, well-thought out article, he just lists a string of insults, many of which have nothing to do with football. I understand that Dan, like most UofM students are terrified that they’re going to lose, as they should be, but trying to put up a tough front with all his trite little insults, well we all see right through it.
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spartan student
10/24/08 2:10pmPhrases like:
...“Youâre the little brother because youâre too dumb to care.”
“Youâre the little brother because you probably donât know what emulate means.”
“Youâre the little brother because your girlsâ fake tans, sloppy blonde dye-jobs and low standards donât mean theyâre that hot.”
“and I know you have trouble reading”
only indicates you’re a lousy journalist and a pampas prick.
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Jackie
10/24/08 2:16pmHas anybody looked at his picture? He might want to look in the mirror before he starts attacking our girls’ attractiveness.
Blow me
10/24/08 2:23pmWay to analyze the game or write something relevant you tool.
Sal
10/24/08 4:01pmAh. I see UM’s magnificent, un-accredited journalism program is still producing fine young eggs like Danny-boy.
Nice to see they’re finally teaching the kids in Ann Arbor that many sentences do, in fact, start with capitalized letters and end with periods.
Dan, if your curriculum even teaches it (which I doubt it does), take my advice and prepare yourself for question marks and exclamation points. Those things will probably make your funny-looking head spin!
Rob
10/24/08 4:24pmi got into MSU and UM and chose MSU cuz UM has a shitty campus full of arrogant pricks such as yourself.
now rather than writng one of the most classless articles i’ve every read on a news site about THE most classless statement ever spoken by THE cockiest prick in the world. why don’t we actually discuss football. something like your pathetic run defense or your inability to play all four quarters yet this season. oh right, i forgot, you clearly don’t know anything about football and this is your pathetic attempt to get your trash talking in before we obliterate you on saturday.
spartanmatt
10/24/08 4:25pmI just wanted to point out to Mr.Feldman that “Big Brother” Mike Hart was punk’d by the Baltimore Ravens and is out for the season after 5 games. Finishing the season with a whole 9 yards on 2 attempts. Karma?