“Yeah, I seen her in the cafeteria before.”

He laughed. I finally broke free and ran inside. I was just trying to get to rehearsal on time when he approached me in my high school’s parking lot. I’d never met him before and I didn’t know who he was, but he did not let me get away. Collapsing in the girl’s bathroom, I cried. I’d never felt so violated, trapped and confused.

I wasn’t raped, but because of him I lost all sense of security I had when walking alone. Now, I can’t go anywhere without constantly glancing over my shoulder, checking to see if someone is behind me — whether at the mall or going for a run in broad daylight.

But I never reported it. I didn’t want to make a big deal, and I feared that there might be too much attention from local media or unwanted ridicule at school.

Our culture doesn’t help rape victims report crimes against them. In fact, many times the victims are blamed. Perhaps their skirts were too short, or they got too drunk, or put themselves in a bad situation — they were obviously “asking for it.” This attitude toward rape is dangerous to the victim, who can fall into isolation and despair if she does not feel support from friends and family, and she may never report the crime.

A good friend of mine from the dorms was gang-raped our sophomore year at a party. She was devastated and showered immediately afterward. The only evidence she had was the pair of underwear she wore that night, and since there was no trace of semen on it, authorities told her she had no case. When police called the men she accused, they denied it and the case never went to trial. My heart goes out to her and all the women who have been sexually assaulted, especially to those for whom justice will never be served.

Sometimes I regret not reporting the man who assaulted me and I wonder if he has done worse to other women. It still amazes me that the people standing around did nothing to help me. And since I can’t make a case and have no solid evidence about something that happened seven years ago, the least I can do is to urge people who see these things go on to put a stop to them, to report what happened and to support the victims of any kind of sexual assault. If rape victims or bystanders reported the perpetrators, perhaps that would save at least one woman from a future attack.

Shari Murgittroyd, coordinator of the MSU Sexual Assault Program, said most people report they would intervene if they saw an assault happening, but part of the problem is how our culture supports violence.

“For example, if you hear a group of guys talking about getting a girl drunk that night so they can have sex with her, that might be a place where people can start intervening — when they hear people making derogatory comments about others, especially men making comments about women, calling them a piece of meat, or that they want to ‘hit that,’” Murgittroyd said. “It’s time that we start intervening as citizens.”

Just like my situation, where there were bystanders who did nothing, many people don’t step in even though they know sexual assault is wrong. The reason why some men don’t intervene is the risk of being ridiculed or ostracized in their group of friends, Murgittroyd said. Bystanders also risk being attacked by perpetrators if they intervene, so Murgittroyd suggests calling 911 and finding others to help talk to the perpetrator.

Sometimes it all happens so fast that the victims can’t scream or get away. I always thought I’d be the kind of person to fight or flee, but my body froze. I had no control of my actions and didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. We’re all to blame here and need to take a hard look at how we treat rape victims in this culture. The assaults that happened to my friend and I never should have happened, and the victims should never be to blame.

Please, if you ever see something happening, do what you can to help the victim, even if it means being ostracized by your friends.

Corinne DeVries is a State News columnist and a jazz studies senior. Reach her at devrie58@msu.edu.