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Tuesday, September 23, 2014 | Last updated: 9:59am


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Rules of Engagement

The age old question


By Josh Mansour, Kellie Rowe          Posted: 01/30/12 10:22pm         

Finding differences between men and women isn’t difficult; the genders are inherently different.

They each have their own unique obstacles and poor taste in television shows to overcome.

Yet they share a commonality in being baffled by one age-old question — what is the opposite sex truly looking for in a mate?

Josh
In trying to understand the qualities people are actually searching for, it’s important to get past the completely ridiculous myths deeply in-trenched in our society.

Women are allegedly searching for their prince charming, a man whose kindness and intellect are only superseded by his rugged good looks.

By contrast, men are incapable of commitment, have no interest in anything other than a woman’s looks and are driven by an insatiable appetite to do the deed with every woman they see.
Women have asked time and again where all the good men have gone, but the reality is they’ve never gone anywhere.

They’re in the same place you left them, as the really good friend you could tell anything to and can’t understand how some girl hasn’t snatched up.

Men have been trapped in the friend zone since the beginning of time and the reason is quite simple — good guys aren’t very exciting.

Good guys have all-nighters at the library, not at the bar. They call just to say “hi,” not to see where hi could lead.

That’s the good guy — he’s dependable, trustworthy and a total bore.
You’ve known this type of guy your entire life and as a result, any potential attraction is offset by a sense of stale familiarity.

There’s no new challenge to embrace, no mystery to solve and any sort of intrigue vanishes as quickly as your attraction.
Men’s interests, on the other hand, are much more diverse than they’re portrayed.

Sure we’re known for making stupid comments and we’ll occasionally stare at a woman that’s not our girlfriend for a few seconds longer than we should, but we’re not as shallow and beauty obsessed as people would have you believe.

For guys, being able to fit into a size-two dress isn’t nearly as important as a woman’s personality, intellect and common interests.
Having super model looks are more of a perk, like the number of cup holders in a car you’re considering buying.

It’s something you take a moment to consider, but isn’t anywhere near a determining factor in whether or not to make the purchase.
Those determining factors — gas mileage, number of seats, miles on the car — are the personality, intellect and common interests.
They don’t need to be perfect, but they’re the first things you want to know about.

So even though guys dream about the prospect of driving a fast and impractical car when they’re young and immature, they often end up going with a dependable truck or SUV.

Kellie
Most guys are initially attracted by a young woman’s appearance, but ultimately they usually find a charming personality and a mind is what keeps them calling back.

Let’s face it, most guys assume all we care about is the curls in our hair and the shoes on our feet, but girls know a lot more than we’re given credit for.

Sure, we know how to properly bring an ashy-blonde hair color to a warm golden-brown tone, but some of us also know what’s in the news, what the president’s doing and a lot more than you think we do.

A guy also can be impressed by a girl who has goals and ambitions and knows what she wants. He wants someone who can fit in with his roommates and charm his parents, and someone who supports him in whatever he wants to do.

For the most part girls look for the same thing, but as painful as it is to say, I think most girls look for good looking guy who has a little bit of an edge.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say they’re looking for a bad boy, but sometimes girls think a guy too eager or willing to help them is a sign of clingyness — as if a guy who brings them flowers is suddenly obsessed with them.

Um, are you guys dumb?

For me, the bigger the gentleman, the better.

I use my daddy to define the word “man.” Growing up, my daddy treated my mother, my little sister and I like absolute princesses and still does today. I’m talking pulling the car around when we leave restaurants, giving us the window seat in airplanes, carrying our bags regardless if the words Victoria Secret are on them or not, and I still hold his hand across parking lots to this day — though the 6’5” and 5’2” height difference is sometimes an issue.

Coming from that background, I don’t plan to settle on anything less in my own dating life. If more men treated me as well as my daddy has throughout the years, I wouldn’t bear this slightly cynical attitude towards chivalry I have today.

Boys, take a hint from Mr. Rowe — the nice guy does not finish last, he’s got a beautiful wife, an incredibly thankful family and a daughter who loves him more than anything in the world.


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