Sunday, January 11, 2026

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Columns

COMMENTARY

Student-E.L. residents left with few sober entertainment options

Editor's note: All characters and events in this column are entirely fictional. So I was carrying a brown baggie full of dog poop in one hand and a lighter in the other, creepin' onto my neighbor's porch after dusk a few nights ago, when he burst through his front door. "Hold it right there, young fella," he rasped.

COMMENTARY

20th birthday marks big step into adulthood, anticipation of 21st

Men in their 40s - with their comb-overs flapping in the wind as they drive their freshly waxed Mustang convertibles - have midlife crises. Students in their teens - with their messy hair hidden under baseball caps as they stumble to class in their pajama pants - have quarter-life crises. OK, well, maybe I'm the only one having a quarter-life crisis, but it's part of the stigma that comes with turning the dreaded age of 20. I turned 20 on Sunday, and people greeted me with the token "Happy birthday!" and congratulated me.

SPORTS

2 days of NFL draft too long for viewers

I woke up this morning and thought, "I better check ESPN to see if the NFL Draft is still going." I was shocked that it was finally over. It was the second-longest first round ever - thanks to the Detroit Lions, since they only took two minutes to make their selection.

SPORTS

1st day of NBA playoffs has comebacks, Webber hitting some shots

Saturday proved to be a most interesting day of basketball. It was a day of monster comebacks and elation on my part. The day started with the Detroit Pistons against the Philadelphia 76ers on ABC. To say the least, the Pistons didn't get off to a great start, being outscored 28-16 in the first quarter. Philadelphia's Andre Iguodala threw down a sick reverse jam after Allen Iverson saved the ball from going out of bounds.