FEATURES
National bird? National turd.
In my family, we don't buy our turkeys at the store. Nope. We like to chase the fat fools down with our SUVs on the highway and haul 'em in fresh.
In my family, we don't buy our turkeys at the store. Nope. We like to chase the fat fools down with our SUVs on the highway and haul 'em in fresh.
On one recent chilly morning, my roommate and I woke to begin our daily routines. As we made the tedious trek to the community bathrooms, we were greeted by toilets that didn't flush, sinks with no water and showers that wouldn't run. After filing a complaint with our resident mentor, we learned that the water had begun to flow again. Ecstatically, I ran to the sink, turned the faucet and watched the water turn clear to brown.
An atheist is kicked out of Boy Scouts for professing his beliefs. An Alabama Supreme Court justice erects a 5,200-pound granite shrine to the Ten Commandments in the state courthouse.
Job market. Have you ever really thought about the combination of these two words? Your future is dependent upon the supply and demand of any given occupation. As the rules of supply and demand go, the more supply you have, the less people are willing to pay for a given product.
Ah, projectile vomiting. It didn't used to be a spectator sport. Nowadays, people blow chunks all over prime time.
"When angry, count to 10," Mark Twain wrote. "When very angry, swear." I thought it best to do both; as anyone who's been around me can confirm, I've done quite a lot of swearing in the past couple of weeks.
Yeah, this season hasn't been much fun to watch. To be perfectly honest, it's been down right torturous. But at least we've had our weekly installment of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood to count on. The 6-foot-4, 205-pound junior has been nothing short of spectacular.
On Nov. 20, some people now take time to reflect on National Transgender Remembrance Day. I expect the majority of people reading this have no idea that such a day existed, or what exactly there is to remember. Let me give you a peek into my head and show you what I remember. I go back a month or so to Oct.
I'm irritated. For the past few weeks, some minority student groups on campus have been targeting The State News for a lack of coverage of their events and issues. On Nov.
Remember when the Tigers won the World Series and the Pistons were actually good? It's been almost 20 years, but the memory still lingers fondly in my mind, somewhere between Lite-Brites, leg warmers and the original Frogger game. Ah, sweet memories of the '80s. I can still recall the first movie I saw in an actual theater.
You know, it is often difficult to sit down and think of things to comment on - well, if you believe I have a lot of land in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean to sell for a good price.
Picture, if you will, a world without color. Imagine the sky an interminable shade of gray and your clothes drab and dull variations of the same hue - every building, structure, tree and object on the planet would maintain the same lifeless tone. Now imagine each and every person you encounter on a daily basis.
As anyone who knows me will attest, I hate defending any policy or strategy proposed by President Bush. If he is campaigning on television, explaining to a crowd how much he appreciates the warm welcome and the delicious local cooking, my first impulse is usually to throw any nearby inanimate object at the television set, vociferously arguing that he is not really being warmly received and the local cooking is, in fact, horrible. When I do agree with our president, I like to do so quietly, pouting to myself in the solitude of my room and assuring myself President Bush graciously decided to agree with me, not the other way around. And with the U.N.
Not since Ronald Dahl has there been a children's book that can capture the imagination the way Harry Potter has.
As I write this, a powerless Iraqi parliament is reacting to a meaningless resolution passed by an ineffective United Nations.
It's an awkward time for the MSU football program. On the field, the Spartans (4-6 overall, 2-4 Big Ten) are attempting to salvage what's left of a dismal season.
Imagine standing patiently in line, exhausted after a day of fasting through work and classes, wanting only a small meal to tide you over until morning.
Satan made me do it. I swear, he did. Oh, you don't believe Satan exists? Well, it still isn't my fault.
Are you hungry? Are you really hungry? No, perhaps you don't understand. Are you really hungry, in the true sense of the word? I'm not talking about the pangs you might have right now because you haven't eaten in the last few hours.
Everyone seems to be an expert, or at least they try to sound like one in conversation. I guess it’s possible for someone to want to seem like they know something when they don’t. We live in a world where we experience more learning opportunities in a single day than the average person living in the Dark Ages did in an entire lifetime. Information is literally at our fingertips all day, every day.