Friday, January 2, 2026

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Columns

COMMENTARY

Virginity is not something to be ashamed of, but to celebrate

Virginity, virginity, virginity. What is it about this word that is so uncool? I know people who are so disgusted by the idea of being a virgin that they would rather be caught with a stash of drugs by the police than to admit they were a virgin. This is hard for me to relate to because I grew up thinking of virginity as a positive thing.

FEATURES

'Drunken orangutan' could write better scripts

Ladies, I'm going to be a rich man, so snag me quick. I'll be raking in the loot, kicking it on the deck of my $500,000 pool, drinking Cristal and pitching film ideas to Jerry Bruckheimer from my leer jet. What's more, I'm not going to work for my fortune.

COMMENTARY

The '80s might be over, but 'good old days' are to come

The world has gone to pot. I used to think only my grandparents spoke about "the good old days," but now I find my memory winding back to the 1980s more and more. Those were "the good old days." Those were the days when the biggest decision I had to make was where to hide when the whole block was declared "in bounds" for a game of hide-and-seek. Those were the days when summers lasted a year and the chill of winter was tamed with a sufficient hill and a sled.

COMMENTARY

America's unalienable rights include selfishness, greed, power

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation." America: Land of the free, home of the brave. Yeah, right. One would have to be blind, deaf and ignorant not to see the truth.

COMMENTARY

Hard work, dedication make a winner - not the No. 1

Over the holiday break, I lost count of how many bowl games I watched. When I realized I was listening to languages other than English, I knew I had entered another world zone on the satellite and it was time to turn the television off because something was critically wrong.