Cary Roseth, a professor of educational psychology at MSU, said one of the biggest challenges students face is the question of belonging.

"At a place like MSU, there's an incredible amount of effort made to ensure that everyone belongs," Roseth said. "But it's also true that not everyone feels like they belong all the time."

That feeling of uncertainty is a normal part of the process, but it can easily be misread by students or their families as a bigger problem than it is.

This emotional shift can strain the parent-student relationship, especially if parents keep trying to fix things instead of stepping into a new role.

"You're becoming an adult, and you want to be seen as an adult," Roseth said. "For parents, it can be hard to stop being the one who's constantly protecting and solving problems."

He suggests that parents take on more of a mentorship role.

Raven Baugh, MSU’s family and supporter orientation coordinator, said it is common for parents to ask, "How do I stay in the loop?" or "How do I know my student is OK?" Her answer usually starts with setting expectations and recognizing that this transition affects families just as much as students.

"You're providing guidance, but you're not overstepping or managing the day-to-day life of your student anymore," Baugh said.

That is something Suzanne Bush, an MSU parent whose daughter is now a Ph.D. student, had to learn firsthand. Setting communication expectations early helped her family avoid frequent conflict.

"We laid it all out — how often we should check in and how often we should call," she said. 

In their case, Bush asked her daughter for one thing in particular: proof of life.

"Anybody can send a text saying they’re you," Bush said. "Just send us a picture, whether you're in your dorm room studying or you're out with friends."

Roseth noted that digital communication has dramatically changed how families interact. With texting and phone calls, parents often receive messages at their most intense moment.

"I think that’s one thing to be aware of as a parent," Roseth said. "Just because that text comes in and it's a huge crisis at that moment, it’s important to recognize that there hasn't been any time (for your student) to process this, you're just getting a raw reaction."

Just as students are navigating independence, parents are navigating uncertainty. Roseth said that can sometimes cause tension when students begin to worry about their parents.

"Parents are human beings too," he said. "They're finding their way just like you are. But I don’t think it’s the student’s job to solve this for the parent — and that’s an important boundary."

Baugh stressed how emotional preparation on the parent side is just as important. Through webinars, resource guides, and even a family-focused podcast, MSU provides support on the instinct to jump in and fix.

"Families are used to correcting mistakes or managing problems," Baugh said. "But now, your student is leading, and you’re there to guide, not control."

When things got tough, Bush said her daughter would still call just to talk, not for advice but for connection.

"We had to learn to ask, ‘Do you want advice, or are you just venting?’" she said. "There were times I’d put her on speaker phone while I was doing dishes and just let her go for it. She didn’t want me to fix it — she just wanted someone in her corner."