“I think a lot of people watching the sentencing had the impression that there was this climactic, final moment,” Denhollander said. “That’s not really what happened.”

By the time she spoke at the victim impact statements last year, she had been working diligently for accountability and reform for more than a year already. Since then, she hasn’t slowed down. 

“Even since the sentencing ... it is still a daily fight for accountability and transparency and necessary reform,” Denhollander said.

Looking back

Coming forward with her story — against a powerful man and the powerful institutions he worked for — was incredibly difficult, Denhollander said. She knew Nassar and those surrounding him would work to silence an anonymous voice.

However, she is thankful she was able to be the catalyst.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to do what I did,” Denhollander said. “That was why I did it. Because I wanted other survivors to have a choice whether or not they spoke up or whether or not they came forward publicly. I didn’t feel like I had that choice when I came forward.

“I don’t really feel like I ever had a choice.”

Denhollander is thankful for the voices of all those who joined her, and it strikes her just how vital every person involved with the case was.

For the case to succeed, she said it needed MSU Police Lt. Andrea Munford’s passionate, uncompromising investigation; then-assistant Attorney General Angie Povilaitis’ commitment to justice and giving survivors a voice; Judges Janice K. Cunningham and Rosemarie Aquilina’s willingness to open their courtrooms; and the time, effort and commitment of IndyStar reporters to amplify Denhollander’s voice, she said. 

“We had to have all of us coming forward to have the cultural moment that we had, and I’m just honestly filled with thankfulness for everything that happened,” Denhollander said. “Alongside that, a very deep sense of grief. Because most of us never needed to be there.”

Though it wasn’t an ending, Denhollander said she’s grateful for what she and other survivors were given at the sentencing.

“The chance to face your abuser and to see him put away is not something most abuse survivors ever receive,” Denhollander said.

A changed life

For Denhollander and her family, every facet of life has changed completely. Some of the changes are good, she said. Some are difficult.

“Doing things the way we had to do things meant relinquishing a great deal of -— really every shred of privacy,” Denhollander said. “I felt like it was relinquishing every shred of dignity. You don’t get to take any of that back.”

While Nassar is behind bars for the rest of his life, Denhollander is living hers coming to terms with her abuse. She is forever changed by it, she said. 

“I do think, by and large, I’ve been able to reach a very good place of healing and move forward with my life, and enjoy all the good things that life has to offer, and hold on to hope,” Denhollander said.

But there are still elements of her abuse she grapples with, she said, and there are still details she doesn’t want publicized.

“We didn’t get to choose to be abused, and we didn’t get to choose how we spoke about it,” Denhollander said. “The organizations that surrounded Larry put us in a position — put me in a position — where it had to be done very publicly, very graphically and very continually. That’s not right. None of us should have been put in that position.”

Moving forward

Denhollander doesn’t see a future where she can rest.

“I don’t think it will ever end. Not completely,” Denhollander said. “There will always need to be work done.”

While there is more discussion about sexual assault now than before, Denhollander said she doesn’t see much of a shift in the way it’s treated. The abuser’s own community has the most potential to create accountability, but time and time again communities fail to hold their own members accountable, she said.

“Everybody’s happy to talk about it when it’s someone else’s community, but never when it’s their own,” Denhollander said.

Having fought for accountability at MSU and USA Gymnastics for more than two years, Denhollander admits she’s a little tired of her own case. She said she would like to move on to more general advocacy, but whether she can will depend on MSU’s leaders doing what they need to do to allow other survivors to heal. 

While she’s encouraged by the actions and words of some of the new members of the MSU Board of Trustees, several important steps still must be taken before the fallout will truly end, she said. 

Denhollander said MSU still needs an independent investigation with waived attorney-client privilege, so the public can truly know what happened and what failed beyond criminality. 

The vast majority of what contributes to cultural enabling of sexual abuse goes beyond what’s illegal, she said.

“You can’t fix what you don’t even know, or what you won’t admit to,” Denhollander said.

The resignation of former Interim President John Engler was a positive first step and she’s thankful for the board’s actions, but it is only a first step, Denhollander said. An independent investigation would signal a true shift toward transparency and accountability.

“When you see a real need to change, you do things radically differently, not just one or two things differently,” Denhollander said.

Going forward, Denhollander hopes to continue being an advocate for change. It’s important to her to keep raising her voice, not just because that’s how change gets made, but because it shows other survivors their voices are important.

“They need to know that they’re going to be heard and believed and that they matter.”