Happy first day back, Spartans.

At least, as happy as it possibly can be. Because really, today has got to be the worst day of the entire school year, right?

After an entire month of break, coming back to school is sort of like leaving Rick’s before having one too many — nobody wants to do it, but we all probably should.

At least on the first day of school in August we can get to campus without scraping our cars off or freezing half to death on our way to class during an entirely different walk of shame. A walk that is all-too-familiar to all of us who, for some reason, chose to go to school in the north.

Today really is the bottom of the proverbial barrel when it comes to your days at MSU.

How so, you ask? Oh, let me count the ways.

1. Today is a Monday. OK, we are already off to a bad start.

2. As of Sunday afternoon, the low at midnight tonight is projected to be 3 degrees Fahrenheit. That is higher than my GPA.

3. It is the widely despised, ever-repetitive “Syllabus Day.” The one day of college that most closely mirrors the social development exercises we practiced in kindergarten.

4. Though it is still cold, we are out of holiday season-related things to look forward to. Unless you’re really pumped about the upcoming Chinese New Year February 19.

5. We have, count ‘em, 116 days until the end of finals and the official start of summer break. That so-called light at the end of the tunnel we all speak of? It’s been obscured by the next two months’ worth of whiteout blizzard conditions.

6. All the money we received from family over the holidays has suddenly gone from our wallets to the vast, perilous black hole that is the Student Book Store.

I could keep going. I won’t.

So, this is the part of the column where I’m supposed to brighten the mood and tell everyone that all is going to be A-OK. But I am not going to do that, because I am not a liar.

I could tell you that spring really isn’t that far away. After all, our university refers to this semester as the “spring” semester, a claim so bold I picture Lou Anna K. Simon and the Board of Trustees cackling in some large, well-heated room at the irony and audacity of their choice of an accompanying adjective.

Because if this winter is anything like the last, spring won’t be here until the final week of classes.

So, it’s time for the 50,000 students here to grit our collective teeth and trudge through the next few weeks with our heads down, to go along with our moods.

But we can do it. I mean, I guess we sort of have no choice. So bear down, button up and hold your breath until mid-March (do not actually do this). It might not be a smooth ride, but even though you can’t see it, I promise the obscured light at the end of the tunnel is actually there.