Being “friend zoned” is, in today’s youth, seen as a terrible fate. More often than not, women are seen as the ones who lure men into the friend zone, even though it can happen either way.

These days, there seems to be a belief that some girls are heartless, telling perfectly good guys they are unworthy of their affections.

It makes sense. We grew up in a society where, in pop culture, femmes fatales seduce even the most cunning men (think James Bond in “Thunderball”) for their own personal gain. And it goes back to ancient storytelling. In Greek mythology, the Sirens are beautiful creatures who lured sailors on the sea with their beautiful voices, eventually causing the sailors to crash and sink their ships. Medieval folklore tells of the succubus, who lured men into her bed to suck the life out of them.

There are also plenty of movies and TV shows where a nerdy guy breaks out of the friend zone and gets the girl. Like “There’s Something About Mary” with Ben Stiller. “Just Friends” with Ryan Reynolds. Zach Braff in “Scrubs.” Even Ron Stoppable in “Kim Possible.” I love all these films and shows, as well as their characters, but I think this could give some guys the wrong idea: that if they keep trying hard enough, the girl they want will automatically like them back.

I’m a sucker for cliches, but life isn’t a movie. There aren’t themes or underlying plot motives, and the nerdy guy doesn’t always get the hot girl. Being able to understand that and move past rejection will make you feel better, and make you a better person for it.

I’ve both friend zoned and been friend zoned. It sucks on both ends, and I’m not here to deny anyone’s pain when they’ve been rejected. Give yourself time to feel those feelings because it’s totally normal to be upset.

But please, don’t demonize the person who was honest about their feelings towards you. A girl doesn’t owe you their affection just because you’re a nice guy. Going to the Internet or to your mutual friends to complain about being friend zoned isn’t a healthy way to handle how you feel, and it may damage your relationship with that person.

I understand it's hard to be mature about a situation like this, when you’ve finally built up enough courage to tell the person you like about how you feel, only to be crushed when they say they’re not interested. But what other options are there? Because if they don’t like you, there’s a good chance they won’t change their minds.

I’ve been that person who wrote a guy off as a cocky scumbag for wanting to be just friends. I wish I hadn’t, because I lost a good friend in the process and I regret it to this day. I moved on, but our friendship didn’t.

There is too much negative attention towards women on this topic when, honestly, there isn’t any way to reject someone without hurting them. And men put other women in the friend zone all the time.

Is it really that terrible, though, to be told by the object of your affections that they still want you in their life? Perhaps not in the way you want to be part of their life, but at least they still appreciate you.

It’s a double-edged sword. On one end, that person enjoys your company and still wants to be around you. On the other, the rejection’s going to sting pretty much every moment you spend with them. So would it be better to just cut ties? But then you lose a friendship. There’s really no way to win, so you have to decide what you can handle. If you can’t be friends without the underlying resentment, consider if that friendship is worth the continual ill feelings.

Just remember, it isn’t a question of worthiness or unworthiness. That’s not how attraction works, and no can really say how it does work because no one can help who they're attracted to.

Guys (and girls), if someone tells you they want to be “just friends,” obviously you’re not going to be happy about it. But do your best to lick your wounds and move on.

Their feelings could change over time, yes, but pining after someone who’s denied you and expecting them to change their mind could close doors on other people who could make you happy — maybe even someone you’ve friend zoned.

Emily Jenks is the Opinion Editor at The State News. Reach her at ejenks@statenews.com.