When it comes down to it, there are no excuses. Whatever reason someone dreams up to somehow justify drunken driving is total garbage, and here’s why.

“A cab ride is too expensive if I can drive.”

A hospital bill, car repairs or a ticket and legal fees will cost much, much more. Operating while intoxicated can mean as much as $500 in fines and/or up to 93 days in jail for the first offense. A trip from MSU to Lansing’s Sparrow Hospital ranges from $600 to $900 through Lansing-Mason Area Ambulance Service. A cab costs $3 plus tip.

“It’s only a short drive.”

If it’s only a short drive, avoid driving altogether and walk. If it really is only a few-minute drive, it probably wasn’t worth the gas.

“I’m not that drunk.”

Unlikely. Especially when judgment is impaired after drinking alcohol, it’s hard to gauge how drunk is too drunk. A few drinks might feel like a good buzz, but it’s too much to drive. Even a little beer, wine or liquor takes hours to wear off.

Let’s face it, our judgment isn’t at its best when we’ve been drinking. Two shots later and the liquor can lead to decisions a sober person never would make. Don’t trust yourself if you think you’re sober enough to drive.

Apps such as the BAC Calculator factor in age, weight, alcohol content and the amount of time spent drinking to give blood-alcohol content estimates for anyone who is thinking about driving after a few rum and cokes. Investing in a BAC Breathalyzer, about $50 at CVS, is worthwhile if the alternative is a deadly car accident.

“I’m a good drunk driver.”

No one is a good drunken driver. Take a step back and think about a friend or other loved one saying that. Practice doesn’t make perfect when it comes to mixing what is essentially mind-altering poison with operating a hunk of metal that can reach speeds of 100 mph or more and weighs upwards of 3,000 pounds. Driving is dangerous enough when sober; alcohol makes it terrifyingly risky. One slip up, and the driver’s life and countless others will never be the same. Living with the guilt of vehicular manslaughter is something no one should have to deal with, so don’t even risk it.

“I can’t stop my friends from drunken driving.”

This is probably the worst excuse of them all. We’ve all done idiotic things under the influence, and most of us are lucky enough to have friends to look out for us when things slip out of control. Allowing friends to drive under the influence is inexcusable, and simply saying “no” is not enough. Take their keys away.

They likely will be really angry when their keys are hidden somewhere in the fridge, but a life matters more than a drunken spat. They’ll be thankful the next morning. If not, it might be time for an intervention.