When my long-term relationship ended, I did not know what to do with myself. After being with someone for so long, it is difficult to become accustomed to being single. We were together through senior year of high school, and we made it work in different states for almost all of freshman year.

He became part of my identity. We were the couple who everyone thought would end up marrying each other. I thought there was nothing wrong with this — until it ended. It took losing him to realize how much I had lost myself in my boyfriend.

I immediately turned to my friends without questioning whether they would be there for me or not. I received sympathetic phone calls, texts and Facebook messages, even from friends who could not be there to comfort me in person, simply letting me know someone was there to support me.

The messages were great, but what I required most at the moment was human contact, and lots of it. I was desperate for people who would make me laugh until I cried, hug me without being asked and hold my hand while I broke down. In my unstable state, I reached out to my best friend at MSU and asked for help.

Before the breakup, I never really tried to make new friends because I never considered building relationships necessary in my life. Finding friends seemed pointless to me because I had my boyfriend, who was closer to me than most of my best friends anyway. We both knew everything about each other, and I always felt comfortable around him.

But my relationship with him consumed any social life I should have had.

Breaking up with him was the wake-up call I needed to get out of the hole I dug for myself. College is all about making friends, and I felt like I was skipping out on this experience.

Before, I would rarely go out with my friends on the weekends. I would feel bad about my boyfriend not being there, as if I could not have fun without him there with me. Now, I don’t have to be constrained; I can just have fun with my friends. I spend less time in my dorm by myself every day.

But I also have become more comfortable being by myself each day. I’m making friends and becoming more independent at the same time.

One of my friends from work asked, “Who are you? Your boyfriend left, and now you’ve become crazy.”

I used to spend every night in my room doing homework after I came home from work. Now, I work on my homework in my friends’ dorm rooms and the study lounges. I no longer settle for sitting alone in the cafeteria, so I always text friends before I go to eat. I discovered I enjoy hanging out with friends a lot more than being alone.

Making friends also forced me to talk more. Now, there is more than one person who gets to hear about how great or terrible my day was. I must have added more than 20 new numbers in my phone, and I’ve texted every one.

I have extended my friendship circle to people outside and also inside of work. I spend most of my time at work, so why not make the most of it? We dance, cry, laugh and have a really good time. We do stupid things that we will laugh about for days. The best is when we talk to each other on Facebook even though we are sitting right next to each other. We take photos of ourselves making funny faces and post them on Facebook. There is no point to doing this besides a quick laugh and a break from a busy day of school and work. This is what friends are supposed to do: laugh with you, even when no one else is laughing.

Breaking up was not an enjoyable experience by any means, but I realized the only way to move on is to look at the positive side. For me, the bright side has been strengthening old and new friendships. I’m having the time of my life. I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this, but at the same time, I’m glad this is how I am feeling. From the worst I have found the best. At first, I considered breaking up as the worst event of my life, but it has turned out to be more beneficial than I ever could have imagined.

Isabella Shaya is a State News staff writer. Reach her at shayaisa@msu.edu.