Dear CB,

“Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice,” is the famous refrain uttered by one Dr. Sidney Freedman, a recurring guest on the iconic ‘ ’70s/‘80s TV hit show “M*A*S*H.” He used to say this as a retort to Hawkeye and the gang in surgery whenever the tension and anxiety was too much. The purpose was to offer a “practical” solution to an oftentimes self-imposed condition we call stress.

But what does stress have to do with not being able to sleep and/or insomnia? Well, that’s like asking what does the consumption of a lot of beer in a short period of time have to do with getting sick or having a hangover: everything. If you rule out such factors as not allowing yourself time to sleep, drugs, consuming certain foods and medical conditions, then stress is usually one of the root causes of not being able to sleep and can and does cause insomnia. We create stress as a response to certain stimuli in our environment. It’s usually not pleasant and many times can throw us off tempo and rhythm. Thus, falling asleep usually becomes one of the first casualties of losing that natural rhythm.

If you have ruled out the above factors, and I don’t know you have, then the first thing I would advise you to do is a “stress inventory.” Sit down and either in your mind or on paper, jot down all the things in your life that you feel you choose to be stressed by. Next, think about the outlets you use to deal with that daily tension that builds from these stressors. The trick is to identify outlets for the tension. If you cannot do that, you need to change the way you think about these stressors. It goes along the line of, “If you can’t change something, then change the way you think about it.” Granted, it’s not always easy to change your thinking. If nothing else, sometimes it helps to visualize that list of stressors before you hit the hay, and then just consciously decide to let them “slide on the ice” for the night.

Such things as noise, exercising and/or working too close to bedtime, room temperature, excessive light and even a roommate who refuses to quit partying are other things that can cause you to not fall asleep. Many of these environmental and physical things are usually easily correctable.

If you are having trouble getting to sleep and it doesn’t have much to do with stress and/or other environmental variables, then here are a few things you may want to consider.

Before going to bed, do something you enjoy such as reading (preferably not something related to school), taking a short walk, playing music or even taking a shower or hot bath. Do anything that gives you pleasure, removes you from the stresses of the day and prepares you for bed. Some people like to do self-massages and even practice guided imagery or Reiki (healing energy). Deep breathing also helps relieve tension and can create an overall sense of peace in the body.

Finally, I would advise you to make time to sleep. Plan this into part of your day, like any other part. If you can set your alarm to get up in the morning, you can set your alarm to go down at night. Sometimes we give sleep very little respect and only allow it to happen with what we have left from the day.

If your sleeplessness continues and you’ve tried several options, please remember there are folks at Olin Health Center and the MSU Counseling Center who are willing to help. You just need to open your eyes to it … (OK, bad pun).

I hope you find the sleep you need and want, and that if you do choose to “pull down your pants and slide on the ice,” remember this is only a metaphor for “relax and let go.” I would hate to see you take this literally and end up being arrested for indecent exposure at Munn Ice Arena.

Peace, love dove.
—Dr. D.

Dennis Martell, Ph.D., is a coordinator of Olin Health Education and writes a weekly health column for The State News. E-mail him your questions at dennis.martell@ht.msu.edu.