Rather, the city is willing to accept the consequences and reap the financial benefits of forcing students to live miles from downtown East Lansing. “It’s your downtown,” the city says. Just drive, because you’re not welcome within walking distance.

No, the city isn’t encouraging drivers to get completely blitzed, rather to walk the line of the blood alcohol limit. That limit, which was lowered from .10 to .08 percent five years ago, means a driver who was legal in early 2003 now is arrested and forced to pay the city what amounts to a small fortune. Cue the background reel.

Since the 1999 riots following a loss by the men’s basketball team to Duke, East Lansing has been desperate to slash the number of students living in East Village — bound by Bogue Street, Grand River Avenue, Hagadorn Road and the Red Cedar River. The city’s euphemism is “development.”

Instead of a student haven, the area will offer new retail, entertainment and housing for short- and long-term residents. The presumed goal is to price the majority of units out of reach for the average student. Of course, the city refutes the desire to force the student exodus.

Former East Lansing Mayor Sam Singh, God bless him, wrote a letter to The State News last semester saying that room would be made for students in the new East Village.

But history shows that, when necessary, the city knows how to keep students out of its prized locations. In a previous City Pulse article, Singh said out of 39 condos in City Center I — think CVS Pharmacy — only three were occupied by students.

The city’s solution always has been for students to head north to places like Chandler Crossings apartments, also known as the Northern Tier. Renters would be forced to flee, but their cash would stay in the same hands; the company in charge of developing East Village co-owns Chandler Crossings. For The Pierce Company, it’s simply customer segmentation: Charge more for riverside living in East Village, charge less for students in the Northern Tier.

Let’s even save The Pierce Company the trouble of writing an eviction letter: “It’s true, we’re forcing you miles from campus. But relax, we’ll give you $50 off rent at our properties in the Northern Tier.” It’s the fast track to student relocation.

Unless downtown bars start including overnight accommodations with their drink specials, students will need to make the trip home after a night of revelry. When the student relocation is complete, that trip home will require more students to use a bus, a taxi or a car. The city knows this, and is literally paving the way for increased traffic to the Northern Tier by expanding Chandler Road north of Lake Lansing Road. East Lansing is implicitly willing to accept the uptick in drunken driving the relocation will bring, and they will embrace the uptick in citation revenue. It’s a real-world lesson played out in the shadow of the ivory tower.

My conclusions are drawn from personal observation — from my apartment near the corner of Abbot Road and Grand River Avenue. Every weekend, the lights of a police cruiser paint my walls red and blue through my double window. I’ve seen a lot of my peers walk the line, fail and get arrested. It’s anecdotal, but it’s proof that students drink and drive. The city has their own evidence in their jail cells and courtrooms.

To be clear, this column is in no way supporting or excusing drunken driving. I’ve suffered because another chose to drink and drive. But to increase the number of students that can’t walk to entertainment venues is to increase the number who will drive home drunk. For now, reserve judgment and think statistics. It’s clear that some college students drink, and some choose to drive home instead of using the bus, a cab or a designated driver. East Lansing is not abnormally drunken or abnormally irresponsible. It’s a national phenomenon, not a local one.

The pending arrival of this scenario makes a peculiar sound. We can’t tell if it’s the clang of handcuffs slapped on a drunken driver or the jingle of car keys that the city is forcing into the driver’s palm.

Or maybe it’s just the city’s cash register.

Jon Erickson is a State News columnist and journalism senior. Reach him at erick137@msu.edu.