Chickens have their beaks painfully seared off with a hot blade because they often bite each other as a result of the psychosis induced by extremely cramped conditions. And you thought dorm life was cramped and abusive.

After they've served their purpose of laying eggs in this extreme confinement, they are relegated to the same fate as their non-egg-laying counterparts; their throats are slit and they are scalded in defeathering tanks, often while still conscious.

Pigs and cows lead similar lives. Pigs are usually kept in "gestation crates" for their entire lives. These are cages just larger than their bodies that prevent them from even turning around, leaving them to wallow in their own excrement until they are slaughtered. Cattle are castrated, have their horns chopped off and are repeatedly branded without any form of anesthetic. All of this ends in the animals getting grilled like I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby on his involvement in the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame.

The cruel treatment of animals isn't the only reason to kick meat. Red meat and dairy products like butter are full of saturated fat — the "bad" fats that are huge contributors to America's obesity problem — which increases the risk for heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, stroke and other ailments. Clogged arteries are not only a severe health concern, but in the short-term, they may produce lethargy and — pay attention guys — impotence. Would you rather scream like Howard Dean or advertise for Viagra like Bob Dole?

But, as LeVar Burton of "Reading Rainbow" always said, "You don't have to take my word for it!"

Walter Willett, chairperson of the department of nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health, advocates a vegetarian diet based on the largest long-term dietary survey ever undertaken.

The protein in meat so dogmatically worshipped, especially by bodybuilders, is just as accessible and in many other ways when derived from meatless substances, such as beans, nuts, lentils and whole grains. At 155 pounds, I am not a big guy, but my personal record on the bench press is 240 pounds, all without dairy, eggs or meat. That's nothing when compared with vegan bodybuilders like Mike Mahler, but it's still proof that vegetarians are just as capable, if not more capable athletes.

Call yourself an environmentalist? If you really want to be resource conscious, consider that 80 percent of all agricultural land and just less than half of all water procured in the United States is used to feed livestock, not humans. The vast majority of the caloric energy put into animals for feeding is lost simply by the animal living its life, no matter how cramped and immobile it may be. It would be tremendously more efficient to simply eat cultivated plants.

Also, don't forget that what goes in must come out. Animal excrement, 130 times the amount produced by the humans in the United States, seeps into our water supply and pollutes the environment. An output of crap like that even rivals Rush Limbaugh.

Perhaps the best part about being vegan or vegetarian is that it has never been easier. There are vegan products for everything you could possibly imagine — from black-bean burgers to soy ice cream — all of which are a lot healthier than their traditional counterparts.

It's impossible to live your life without causing any pain at all — just ask an MSU parking enforcer. But for your health, for the environment and for the animals, try taking meat off your plate. For everything you want to know about being vegetarian and to see how sexy it is to be one, visit www.goveg.com.

Drew Winter is an MSU journalism and English junior. He is running for "Sexiest Vegetarian" at www.goveg.com. Reach him at winterdr@msu.edu.