There's big news in the e-world, and my life has taken a drastic turn for the better.

For the poor souls who don't already know, Facebook.com has implemented a news feed, which informs students about events their friends are attending, notifies them when friends post on each others' walls and even lists those who've added new photos.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end for only a few moments, until I realized how badly I needed this feature in my life.

I've awoken many nights with beads of sweat pouring down my trembling brow, wondering if my fifth-grade choir partner is still in an open relationship. I've left class in the throes of anxiety because I just knew there was a barbecue that night that I was not invited to.

But Tuesday, I found myself staring at a screen with all the work done for me. I exhaled a sigh of relief, canceled the rest of my plans for the day and got to work.

I commented on 45 walls and unfriended three people who didn't invite me to parties. I hit on four newly-single people and one person in a relationship, because well, in their latest entry, it didn't look good.

It was then that my best friend knocked on my door. Luckily, I had closed the blinds hours earlier, so I ignored her. I was busy Facebooking.

I thought I was in the clear for the night, but she came back later. This time she pounded, mad about the study group I missed. I had just showered and was applying makeup before I took a new user picture of myself. I was a little irritated about the interruption.

We had a vicious spat, to say the least. She said I haven't been the same since I signed up for an account on Myspace.com. I said something about how she has less than 100 friends on Facebook and 23 of them don't even know her.

It was mean, but I was just so excited about Facebook's new features. My friend hasn't returned my e-messages, and I even knocked on her door — once. The only thing I can think of is going to one of her classes and apologizing in person.

But I know I won't. I'd feel creepy showing up to someone's class.