One morning something bad happened. I got to the last spoonful of my Lucky Charms and suddenly noticed a crippling deficit of colored marshmallows to frosted oats. Knowing that this last bite would taste more like cardboard and responsibility than sweetness and adolescence, I became frustrated with myself.

"C'mon John, how could you let things get so out of hand?!" I pushed the bowl away in disgust and sought entertainment from the back of the box. The box offered only an intellectually belittling maze that I had self-consciously completed three days ago after making sure of my solitude. Dejectedly, I reached for an abandoned USA Today.

If you've been keeping an eye on the newspapers or flipping on the evening news occasionally, you know how tumultuous our world's political climate is — really heavy stuff going on.

Frustrated Lebanese dodging bombs, sneaky Iranians enriching uranium and shameless Koreans testing bombs. I continued leafing through the periodical with an expression that whispered, "Dang."

So many Israelis and Muslims and Europeans and Americans arguing with each other all the time. It's like being on a long family vacation in a packed Dodge Caravan — pre-double sliding doors and rear bucket seats. Your sister's pudgy feet keep poking your stomach, you've got a rectangular holder for juice boxes where a round beverage needs a home and your brother is unwilling to share the Game Boy. Our world — similar to the minivan — has the threads of conflict sewn into the upholstery.

With more and more bad news spewing from the media and the government, it seems as if we will never get along. I'm always hearing stuff like terrorists hate our freedom, Europeans think we're arrogant and Iraqis never even liked democracy.

After a somber reflection, I became angry and clenched my fists together. I refuse to believe that we humans are this incompatible. Something can be done, and it turns out the solution is right under our noses.

If our world leaders were to step forward, put aside differences, and accentuate the beliefs common among all human beings, we could save this planet. Let's talk universal truisms — things all humans can embrace and agree on.

I am not referring to banal Hallmark-card feelings like love, freedom and dignity. Those words are syrupy and most importantly, boring. We need relevant experiences and beliefs that bring unity to a troubled mankind.

It's time for us to stand together and say, "Yes, the first Home Alone was the best. Yes, Cap'n Crunch's treasure-chest-shaped biscuits hurt and sometimes cut up the roof of one's mouth. No we don't like socks with sandals and no, we don't like the looks of those Pontiac Aztecs either."

These are the kind of up-front resolutions that bring people together. Pass it through the House, send it to the Senate. Even the United Nations could reach a consensus with these universal truisms.

In an age when European relativism leads to moral ambiguity and American conviction creates an "us versus them," pop culture could be the next dove and olive branch.

Next time George W. Bush has some free time, he really needs to drop North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il a line via telephone. If he just started out with something nice and safe — in lieu of bombs or an axis of evil — I think a beautiful relationship could ensue.

"Hey Kim Jung?"

"Yes."

"Dubya here. I was just wondering: Have you ever been dry and then put on a wet sandy life jacket?"

"You know George," President Kim Jung Il ponders. "I have and it's a horrible feeling."

"I know! And remember Patrick Ewing? His nostrils were huge, right?"

"Yeah!" replies Kim Jung Il excitedly. "And in Titanic, the scene where DiCaprio sketches Kate Winslet …"

Both leaders in unison, "Best part of the movie!"

This is the future of healthy foreign diplomacy. Speaking softly and carrying a big stick had its charm, but it's not cool anymore. There is so much colorful discourse that we could be engaging in with foreign leaders. With nothing to lose and so much to gain, we need to be pioneers in the new global political etiquette. Even better, it is sure to be contagious. Soon we'll have Jews and Muslims frolicking hand in hand — "Don't you ever wish we could eat pig?"

"Yeah. Religion — it's a crazy mother."

"You said it."

With a feeling of self-accomplishment, I put down the USA Today and stared intently at that last scoop of Lucky Charms. Even though I knew it would have an unpleasant oat taste, I grasped my spoon firmly and finished it off.

Because sometimes in life, you have to step out of your comfort zone. This might mean finishing your breakfast or it might mean reaching out to a fellow human. Sure, maybe he or she likes the taste of buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies and you don't. It doesn't matter — because what we all agree on is that you can't mix buttered popcorn with any other flavors. That's something we can hang our hats on.