MSU alumnus and author Josh Kilmer-Purcell didn't hesitate to share his alcohol- and drug-filled drag-queen lifestyle with the world.

Although those dangerous and risqué days are finished for Kilmer-Purcell, they are immortalized in his best-selling book — and soon-to-be movie — "I Am Not Myself These Days."

"A lot of people said 'Oh you must be very brave to do this,' and it's funny because it didn't occur to me," he said. "I'm not brave. I'm shameless. I didn't really have any regrets because that was a part of what made me who I am today. I don't want to hide that. I think people hide too many things in their lives."

His book reached No. 29 on the New York Times Best-Sellers list in March.

Kilmer-Purcell, 36, grew up in a conservative Wisconsin suburb knowing he was gay. He feared being different yet struggled to fit in.

He had no one to turn to.

"I'm sort of jealous of kids today," he said. "The message I got growing up was there was something wrong with me. The best thing is to keep quiet and not stand out of the crowd. When I was young we didn't have 'Will & Grace.' There were no mainstream gay people in the media and no sort of role models or inkling of who you were supposed to grow up and be. We had (Phil) Donohue, and he would have a gay guest and they would be treated like a freak show. And he was one of the nice ones."

Kilmer-Purcell lived in Bryan Hall and illustrated political cartoons for The State News while attending MSU. To this day he keeps in touch with his poetry professor, Diane Wakoski.

"I'm astonished he had the talent and skill to be a drag queen," Wakoski said. "It just didn't fit with his surface identity. That's quite unusual. I thought, 'Well good for you Josh; you're even deeper than I thought.'"

Although Kilmer-Purcell said he worried whether his former professor would like the book, he had nothing to worry about.

She loved it.

"It's a wholesome, powerful book about contemporary experiences," Wakoski said. "It shows how a healthy person can pass through the dark side of the world and come out on the other side. It has good values. And it may seem absurd to say a book about a drag-queen alcoholic living with a male escort who becomes a crack addict has good values, but in fact, it really does."

Kilmer-Purcell graduated from MSU with an English degree and went to an advertising school in Atlanta, where he finally felt comfortable to expose his sexuality.

"I don't know how it is now, but Michigan State at the time would have been a difficult environment to come out in," he said. "There wasn't the gay availability on campus. I had a fantastic time, but it wasn't the right place for me to come out."

He moved to New York City after advertising school and was quickly introduced to the late-night drag life.

"When I first came out and was on the club scene, I looked at the drag queens and said, 'They're having the best time of anyone here,'" he said. "They get free drinks and all the attention."

Working full time as an advertising art director by day and becoming Aqua, a drag queen, by night wore Kilmer-Purcell down after about five years. He decided to give up drag.

"I realized there's no retirement fund for drag queens," he said. "I've seen more than I ever should've seen in my life, and I didn't need to see more of the underworld. Drag got to be just as boring of a job as pouring coffee."

Kilmer-Purcell now works as a creative director and partner at an ad agency called SS+K with author James Frey's wife. He decided to write his memoir in 2002 when Frey was writing his New York Times best-selling book, "A Million Little Pieces."

In order to remember the details of his drag days, Kilmer-Purcell isolated himself at a friend's house. He still had scrapbooks, club flyers and costumes packed away in storage.

"It took about nine months to write," he said. "The same amount of time it takes to have a baby and probably just as painful.

"And just as fun at the beginning."

Kilmer-Purcell developed a systematic way of writing: He wrote the daytime scenes during the day, ate dinner, cracked open a bottle of wine and wrote the nighttime scenes while "a little tipsy" to get the full effect.

At the time, Kilmer-Purcell was not sure his book would be published — no less become a best seller. Because the book applies to a niche market, it did not receive widespread publicity.

"It's amazing it made the best-seller's list without the big media," Kilmer-Purcell said. "Katie Couric isn't clamoring to talk to a former drag queen at 7 a.m."

Maybe not Katie Couric, but Schuler Books & Music, 2820 Towne Center Blvd., is clamoring. Kilmer-Purcell will give a short reading, answer questions and sign books at 7:30 p.m. Friday.

"Both the general manager and I really liked it," said Amanda Snook, promotions coordinator at Eastwood Towne Center's Schuler Books & Music. "It's selling well in the store. He has a really sarcastic wit."

Part of the book's success is due to the relatable love story between the author and his boyfriend — a theme that lies beneath the book's provocative and racy surface plot, Kilmer-Purcell said.

"People are intrigued by the sensational subject matter, but then they see there is a universal story at the center of it they can relate to," he said. "We all have the same emotions … but in different wrapping papers."