• We were going to apologize that the Musings disappeared mysteriously last week.

But now we're not going to until the MSU football team apologizes for doing the same thing this weekend.

• An Oklahoma man received a 30-year prison sentence this week, but convinced prosecutors to lengthen it to 33 years to match Larry Bird's jersey number.

Let's hope Saddam Hussein's a big fan of Wayne Gretzky — No. 99.

• 59-year-old Sylvester Stallone announced plans this week for another Rocky movie, the sixth in the series.

Critics are already raving about the film's dramatic final scene, in which Stallone TKOs Clubber Lang by beating him repeatedly with his walker.

• Male models will work as ball-retrievers at this week's Madrid Masters tennis tournament, joining the female models who have been holding down the job since last year.

Wait a minute. Female models as ball-retrievers? How did we miss this? Maybe Anna Kournikova will be on the court for a Grand Slam final, after all.

• Danica Patrick had a physical confrontation with fellow driver Jacques Lazier after the Toyota Indy 400 last week.

Patrick apparently took exception to Lazier's "My student could kick your honor roll student's butt" bumper sticker.

Compiled by Tom Keller