At 17 years old, Carol Jacobsen was a pregnant newlywed, scared for her life.

"I was only married three months and it became very violent, very quickly," Jacobsen said. "I found myself lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling thinking, 'Oh my God, he is going to kill me on purpose or by accident.'

"I left that day."

More than 30 years later, Jacobsen uses her experience to help others as coordinator for the Michigan Battered Women's Clemency Project - an advocacy group working to free about 20 battered women incarcerated for crimes against their abusers.

"It makes me painfully aware of what they were up against," said Jacobsen, who is also an associate professor at the University of Michigan. "I did not ever want to identify as a victim and I don't think most of them want to identify as victims. They are survivors. We all are, because we have had to save our own lives."

On Friday, Jacobsen and about 100 others rallied at the Capitol to urge legislators to grant clemency to the female prisoners and change current domestic violence laws. The event was held as part of October's Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

According to MSU Safe Place, domestic violence - control that one person has against another, including physical, sexual or emotional abuse - affects between 25 percent and 35 percent of any community, including MSU.

MSU Safe Place is a support and education program on campus, and includes counseling services and a shelter, the location of which remains confidential.

"If you were to take a residence hall and count out every fourth or sixth room, someone in there may be experiencing domestic violence or has in the past," said Holly Rosen, director of MSU Safe Place. "It's such a private thing, but you never know about it unless it happens to you or someone around you.

"Most people may think it doesn't exist, but it's very common."

The program, which has been in existence since 1994, provides shelter each year to between 60 and 85 adults and children in the area, and offers counseling and advocacy services to about 20 people.

Debi Cain, executive director of the Michigan Domestic Violence Prevention and Treatment Board, said often victims cannot see the signs of abuse in a relationship.

"A lot of times the signs are there, but if you don't know what to look for you can misread it," she said. "Having a partner that is so jealous can seem flattering to a girl, when in reality it's one of the common characteristics (of abuse). That person sees everyone else as a threat and wants to isolate the victim."

Each year, about 1,500 women are killed by abusers, Jacobsen said. Last year in Michigan, more than 40 women were killed by their abusers.

Although 95 percent of reported abuse is against women, Rosen said the other 5 percent involve same-sex instances.

Cain said awareness of tactics used by abusers is critical because it prevents a situation from getting serious.

For Jacobsen, her ex-husband was aware of her pregnancy and was telling others that she would never leave him because of it. Shortly after she was able to leave, Jacobsen said she had an illegal abortion while hiding with friends.

Coleen Widell, president of the American Institute on Domestic Violence, said observance of an entire month allows people to see the several sides of violence.

"There are many different ways to intervene, so many levels of response - to have just a day wouldn't be sufficient," Widell said. "We can talk about what it is. Most think it is jacked up lips and bruises - it is more."

Widell added that the month is also an opportunity for prosecutors and lawmakers to see the severity of domestic violence.

"I can guarantee that it isn't an assault, it's a crime," she said. "That is how we need to see it. Silence is complicity - if you don't say it's wrong, you say it's OK."

Jacobsen said her efforts to issue an injunction against her ex-husband were futile at the time, but times have changed a little.

"It's so important for the woman herself to see that law enforcement is starting to change and will do something to back her up," she said, adding that there is still progress to be made. "Law enforcement needs to keep working with domestic violence professionals. It's time they take responsibility."

Since escaping from her abusive relationship, Jacobsen remarried and had one son, but is now single. She said she is proud of how far she has come.

"I've done very well on my own - I am an artist, a professor and an activist," she said. "When you finally understand that it's not your fault and that is a social problem, you can move forward."

Maggie Lillis can be reached at lillisma@msu.edu.