Abuse is a word that can be interpreted in many different ways.
Although the first images that might come to mind are of someone stronger overpowering someone weaker - typically a man over a woman - this predetermined notion isn't always the norm.
Abuse is punching, slapping, shoving and hitting that doesn't have to leave a mark. But it's also name calling, mental games and control. It's generally not one instance of violence or abusive remarks, but a continual cycle that leaves a person feeling diminished. It's something almost 33 percent of men and 25.5 percent of women at MSU reported experiencing indicators of in a survey. Shockingly, the 2004 National College Health Assessment MSU Student Health Assessment survey defies the norm.
Despite the fact that most national statistics show a prevalence for more male-against-female abuse, here are these statistics. What to make of them can be typified in one woman's response to the survey. She said she believes it is socially acceptable for her to punch her boyfriend or call him names.
Rest assured, it's not. Just as it's never right for a man to abuse a woman or for members of the same sex, for that matter, to abuse each other. Even if a woman is weaker than her partner and incapable of causing harm, attacks and words can carry a sting that goes deeper than anticipated.
Gender equality is about more than men and women being on the same level. It also encompasses squelching the bad stereotypes and attitudes each sex harbors for one another. If women abusing men is as prevalent a problem in society as this survey suggests, establishing equality between sexes will require giving equal attention to this kind of abuse.
Perhaps even more disturbing is the fact that the survey found 30.3 percent of students reported experiencing an indicator of relationship abuse, which is up from 24.1 percent in 2002.
Such information indicates that, generally, people are losing respect for each other. It's not surprising considering about half of all marriages end in divorce, pimps are seen as heroes and desperate housewives are entertainment programming.
At such a vulnerable age - being in college and learning to have a serious relationship with another individual - students need to be reminded of what is acceptable and what goes too far.
Any abuse, mental or physical, crosses the line. That's not to say people should never fight or try to work out their differences, but when these habits become ritual and, in a worst-case scenario, violent, people need to remember that such treatment is not normal and shouldn't have to be endured.
These problems can only be solved by a wholehearted societal movement aimed at listening to and understanding those who are the victims of abuse - woman or man, bruises or not. When there is real equality, there won't be an MSU Safe Place. The world will be a safe place for healthy relationships to flourish.
