Walking up at least three flights of stairs, I found myself blanketed by men and women, their complexions different shades of brown, almond, cocoa and tan. They all were buzzing with noise and had a strong aroma of confidence.
As I entered the room where everyone was headed, the same people who once surrounded me on the stairs now were leaving me behind as they pushed through the crowd to get inside. Once I made it to the main room, I slowly began to turn my head from the left and then to the right. My heart was racing and my left eye began to twitch. I became overwhelmed and did not know where to begin. Directly in front of me seemed to be an never-ending aisle of potential employers.
I was in Washington D.C. at the biggest convention for journalists ever held in the nation - UNITY 2004: A Powerful Alliance, A Force for Change. UNITY is an alliance comprised of four national organizations: Asian American Journalists Association, National Association of Black Journalists, National Association of Hispanic Journalists and the Native American Journalists Association. I am proud to be a member of the oldest and largest organization for journalists of color, NABJ.
This wasn't just your regular convention where journalists attend workshops to sharpen their skills or spend countless hours networking. True, that was all a part of the game, but there was more to be had.
For many, including myself, this convention that takes place every five years was one where some journalists were hoping to find their next gig - which is why they were in such a hurry to get off the stairs and into the room where the job fair was taking place.
The pressure was on. I had to make a lasting impression. Unlike most of my competitors, I felt lucky because I was not looking for a job, but an internship for next summer.
My eyes welled with tears after speaking with one recruiter. He didn't tell me my work was bad. He didn't say I was unfit for an internship with his company. And he didn't hand back my résumé and say, "Go somewhere else." So what made me want to weep like a baby?
Fear.
The confidence I once had in myself was beginning to fade. On top of not knowing if my destiny is to be in print or broadcast journalism, I was beginning to lose faith in my potential.
What if my work is not good enough? What if I don't have enough hard news clips? What if recruiters tell me I should be behind the camera and not on air? Should I do print or broadcast?
These were all thoughts running through my mind after speaking with just one recruiter.
He did say it was great that I have experience in both print and broadcast, but I should pick one or the other. He told me what to do to get an internship with his organization and finally said I should want all the recruiters in that room - more than 100 of them - to know me by my first name and playing tug-of-war over me.
That's what did it. His final statement is what really injected a fear in me I have not felt in a long time. On top of that, he said he would be watching me and he was going to see if I would follow through.
Every news organization you can think of was there: CNN, NBC, ABC, MTV, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, the Detroit Free Press and a host of other mainstram media outlets. How in the world was I going to get every recruiter from each organization to know me? I no longer wanted to be there and felt like giving up.
I didn't give up.
It's been about a month since the convention and I already have heard from some of the recruiters who were at the fair.
Since the recruiter said he was going to watch me and see if I followed through, I wanted to give him something to watch and regain confidence in myself. I will never forget my experience in D.C.
I've returned to East Lansing with a new attitude and useful information to improve my reporting in print and broadcast. I had the privilege of meeting and talking with one of my favorite anchors/reporters, Jacque Reid for BET Nightly News.
And let's not forget networking. I met and exchanged contact information with people from all over the United States. Some of them are hopefully playing tug-of-war over me right now.
UNITY really is A Powerful Alliance, A Force for Change. Whether it's in print or broadcast journalism - I've got a feeling I'll be a part of the force for change.
